I was at a wedding recently where three pastors shared. They each did a great job and their insights were poignant. One of them, Pastor Hal Mayer, said, “One of the best pieces of marriage advice I received over the years was ‘Make it easy to say I am sorry.’” That is a bull’s-eye!
Honestly, relationships are messy. Two different people with such disparity in the way they were raised, with unique personalities and their own beliefs are going to disagree. Hopefully, not on too much. It is hard to go through life without some conflict.
Whoa…you thought I was just talking about marriage. Actually, this principle applies to all relationships. Marriage is the one where you get the most vulnerable. You picked that person to share your life and dreams with each day. It is amazing how those “dreams” come with conflict and a cost.
So do all the other relationships you are in presently. You might not have as much conflict because at work, in social settings and in our groups, we can put on a great front. What do you do when you have conflict in these settings? Do you bring it out or do you just “swallow” your words and thoughts? Reading my blog, you know I am a big fan of hitting conflict straight on and having crucial conversations.
The pastor’s advice above is huge. Even in addressing conflict, you need to do it honestly and in humility. Own your part of the situation and when the other person owns theirs, “make it easy for them to say they are sorry.” We all want to win. By driving your point home and making the other person feel “small,” your win will come at an unnecessary cost.
Don’t forget – they might win the next one.