A Day in the Life of a Pastor -I got a Question.

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Each week, I try to think of a nugget that stood out from all the conversations, circumstances and actions that I encountered.  This one is an “oldie but goodie” – Ask Questions.

Here are a couple of phrases that I hear on occasion:

  • “I just got back from the doctor and he said…”
  • “This person is doing this and I am so frustrated…”
  • “My spouse and I are not on the same page and I am done…”
  • “What do you think…”

Through the course of a week, I am inundated with people, situations and actions that require a response from me.  (Some don’t and I have learned good boundaries.)  For those that do, I have learned the power of a good question.  For this reason, I usually don’t know the answer until I get more information.  

I received a call this week from someone who was going to call a friend who was diagnosed with a terrible condition.  It is life changing.  He wasn’t sure how to call him and bring the Lord into it.  I shared with him you can always bring the Lord into it but you won’t know what avenue until you ask some questions.  Are they mad? Afraid? Angry? Concerned for their family? Worried about the finances?  Wondering where is God in all of this?  Is He real?  How can you minister to someone when you don’t know where they are at mentally, emotionally, physically or even spiritually?

The principle of asking questions works pretty much in all situations we encounter.  I recognize that some are straight forward.  Yet, in dealing with people, the more you can ask questions, you are giving them the opportunity to unveil more of what they think.  It can be personal, an attitude they have, situations they have encountered in the past, their rationale…it opens the door for you to understand them a little more.  I have seen it work in counseling, business, leadership, relationship building and even learning someone’s story.

What stops people from asking questions?  Here is a shocker…we think we know the answer already.  Sometimes this is true.  However, I have found that by asking at least a couple of questions, I have a better understanding of the situation or person.  Usually, he will feel that they have been heard.  I will usually soften my tendency to be critical.  If I think I “got it,” then I am missing the opportunity to add these benefits to my involvement.

Here’s a question for you…What is going to stop you from doing this today?

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of a Pastor -I got a Question.

  1. Pastor Chris,

    Great post. I am going into a tough conversation today and I needed to hear this. Thank you.

    Michael Sutherland Ministry Assistant GFC Waters Campus

    On Jan 17, 2017 5:01 AM, “Just Add Water . Chris Bonham” wrote:

    > Just Add Water. Chris Bonham posted: ” Each week, I try to think of a > nugget that stood out from all the conversations, circumstances and actions > that I encountered. This one is an “oldie but goodie” – Ask Questions. > Here are a couple of phrases that I hear on occasion: “I just g” >

  2. You know, as an introvert who likes to relate to others I’ve often done well at listening to people, picking up on feelings and empathizing without asking a bunch of questions- which can especially handy in situations where there are no definitive answers. I’d always thought that there are some people who are “good at” knowing when and what questions to ask, and others who just “aren’t”, me being in the latter group.

    Then become friends with someone who asks questions ALL the time and I realized: 1) I really liked that quality (most of the time lol). 2) I actually started doing it myself and found it so beneficial AND I wasn’t totally horrible at it. 3) It’s important to know the difference between asking questions to understand, gain info then formulate a response vs asking questions to confirm what you already know so you can respond with what’s already formulated in your mind.
    Not a profound concept, but in these times everything is so fast paced and so instant gratification-oriented that there is easily some insight/connection lost in the haste to provide a quick response to issues in times where it would be beneficial and appropriate.

    Lastly 4) sometimes the way we ask questions or just the nature of asking questions in general makes people uncomfortable or defensive especially when they’re tied to an insecurity or sensitive topic. In that regard, empathy goes a lonnnng way in disarming negative emotions.

    Anyway, I must’ve been in the mood to pontificate today, lol. If you’ve made it to the end of this message, then kudos to you! 🙂

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