(This is the second nugget from a talk I gave sharing the seven principles I have learned from almost twenty years at Grace Family Church.)

#2 – Trust Your Leadership

When I came to GFC, it was on the one year anniversary, in a strip mall and with a total of 125 people.  Fast forward to the time of this writing, we are 20.5 years old, have 3 campuses and average around 7,200 – 7,500 people in weekend attendance.  That journey consisted of tremendous highs and numerous challenges…and some amazing people as well.  It has truly been a spiritual journey with God leading and blessing the church in so many ways.  One key piece to that foundation has been the leadership over the years.

While still in the strip mall, Craig and I went to a John Maxwell conference when we were the only pastors on staff.  The one day seminar ended with John telling everyone about his books.  He had this incredible deal where you could get ten of his favorite books on leadership for a great price.  We bought the set.  This was the first intentional step I took on growing my leadership.  I would take my lunch and read those books – highlighting, circling and asking questions.  To this day, I love reading about leadership stories, anecdotes and applications.  Craig is a natural leader.  He is visionary in his ability to see the future and articulate in detailing the steps needed to accomplish the journey.  He works at it as well and we have both grown immensely.

With all this wisdom, how could you ever doubt the leadership of Grace? (Sarcasm definitely intended on that one)  Maybe this one phrase will put it in a better perspective…

“I have never been in this place before.”

There have been so many hurdles and challenges along the journey of Grace.  This phrase has given us the grace to take the time to make a good decision.  And some times we didn’t.  We have made some bad decisions and choices over the years. However, we have made a lot more good ones that have helped shape us to what we are today.  All along the way, we were put into a situation we had never been in before.  That is the exciting and challenging part of growth – it is all uncharted territory.  Someone else may have gone before you and you can learn from their experience, but in the end, you still have to take the steps yourself.  As you grow, you get the responsiblity of taking those you lead.  This could mean staff or a growing congregation.  It is one thing to shoulder the lead when you are the only one affected.  Try that when you have staff and families depending on those decisions and a congregation that deserves the best leadership you can provide.

Trust your leadership.  I know there are bad leaders out there.  I am going to believe that they are a small sampling of the leadership pool as a whole.  The leaders that I work with daily – in the church and out of the church – want to make solid decisions, grow their organizations and see the results of their labor.  They are striving for the very best and doing the work to make that happen. Since they are moving forward, they are taking new ground that has never been conquered before by their organization.

I have been asked, “What is one of the hardest decisions you have made at GFC over the twenty years?”  There have been quite a few but the one that usually jumps out is when we  bought our first phone system.  We were in rented offices, the church was in its second year and I was in my first.  One of my responsibilities was to oversee all the business administration.  I was tasked to purchase a phone system that we could use now and take with us when we moved into our first building.  I did the research, I prayed and even would have done a small Old Testament sacrifice if I could be assured this one system was our best choice.  Looking back now, I laugh at Craig’s confidence in me.  I was young, growing up fast but leaning into all my responsibilities.  The last hurdle in the decision was the $1500 price tag.  Today, I still think $20 is big so this one was a whopper.  In the end, we bought the system.  It turned out to be a solid system that worked for us for a long time.

Trusting your leadership means that you recognize that all of us are on the journey together.  We all have our responsibilities.  And if we are growing, we are in new territory.  As one who leads and is being led, I see the challenge in both.  But, I believe I can meet the challenge by trusting in God first and the leadership second.  And that works for me.

I was tired – physically, emotionally – honestly, I didn’t even want to keep the lunch meeting with Pastor Dale.  But, I respect him a lot and knew it would be good to talk to someone with over forty years of ministry experience.  He chose Panera Bread by the USF campus.  It was packed with college students.  We finally get a booth and dove into our sandwiches and conversation.  He asks me, “How are you doing spiritually?”  I sighed and said, “Honestly Pastor Dale, I am tired.  My devotion time is not good.  It seems like every time I pray, it hits a brass ceiling and I don’t feel anything.”  Pastor Dale, gave a little smile, saying the following…“Do you mean to tell me (pause) that you are not feeling God’s love! (pause) That you don’t know what it is like to feel him pull you close, (pause)  invite you to sit on His lap, (pause) take you in His arms, (double pause with a smile) and feel the love of your heavenly father!”  Notice the exclamation points – what started as a statement turned into an exuberant shout, with arms waving and Pastor Dale coming out of his seat – all to the stares of the college kids in the restaurant.  I am pulling on his arm saying “Sit down” and he is smiling really big and says, “that is what you need and here is how you can get it.”  It was out of that conversation that I developed the strategy of choosing one of four ways to encounter God on a daily basis – The Word, prayer, worship or solitude.  We both laugh about that day and he still gets a sly grin on his face when I tell it.

Do you spend time with God?  Let me go right to the top and give you an example.

Luke 4:42 – 44 NLT  “Early the next morning Jesus went out to an isolated place. The crowds searched everywhere for him, and when they finally found him, they begged him not to leave them.  But he replied, “I must preach the Good News of the Kingdom of God in other towns, too, because that is why I was sent.” So he continued to travel around, preaching in synagogues throughout Judea.

My Thursday morning men’s group is going through Luke and we talked about these three verses for a half an hour.  We talked about why Jesus would do this (recharge, get fresh direction, spend time with God, get away from the distractions, prepare for the next step, etc).  At the very end of the discussion, the question was asked, “Would you agree that it was a good thing for Jesus to do this?”  All the men nodded and agreed, “Yes,” it was a good thing.  Then the “bam” question, “Then why don’t you do this on a regular basis.” We all agreed that for all the same reasons that it was good for Jesus to get away and spend time with God, it is good for us to do the same.  How about you – do you need this?   Look what Jesus said when he was found – “I must go preach…” You are called to preach and minister God’s love every day.  You might not have a pulpit, a microphone or a bible in front of you.  You are going into a world that only you can reach with the message of Jesus Christ.  No one can go in your shoes and live a life like you can that will personify the heart that Christ has for the people in your job, school, social groups, and relationships.

So here is where it gets tricky.  Sometimes, our devotion time is vibrant and we are drawn into God’s presence.  Other times, we leave that time frustrated because God seems so far away.  The end result is a forgotten quiet time or we just do it so we can “check the box” saying we completed it.  We begin to rely on our past victories and stories instead of allowing God to give us new insights and truths that we can apply today. (Yes, even ministers can do this.)  I just got back from a vacation at New Smyrna Beach.  The undertow there is fierce some days.  You can feel yourself being dragged down the shoreline.  Either you give up and let it move you down the beach or you expend a lot of energy just to stay in one place.  Ministry out of the past is like that.  You want to grow in your relationship with God but instead you feel like you are caught in a spiritual undertow.  You are dragging through your time with the Lord.  Eventually, it gets so tiring, you just give up.

You don’t want to live in the undertow of the past – it is time to get back to the overflow of the present.

Final thought…and it came to me out my devotional time six days ago.  I was reading and this scripture stood out to me:

I Corinthians 2:9 NLT “That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.'”  I have read it so many times and this time, it fired me up.  I started thinking about what it would look like if God “blew my mind” more than I could imagine.  Like you, I can imagine a lot.  Between services that morning, I was with a group praying for a friend who is battling cancer (again.)  The faith of the group was high and I felt like I should pray that scripture over him.  As he moves forward, I have that scripture in my car and when I see it , I remember to pray for him.  I ended up putting that scripture in my staff devotion this week.  And I asked this question – “What would it look like if God blew you mind more than you could imagine in _______?” (You fill in the blank).  I think this question takes us back to the personal relationship with Christ.  I don’t want to God to blow my mind with things, achievements or accolades.  I want him to blow my mind with things that are intimate to my heart.  People, relationship and situations that when God does it, it will mean way more than what was accomplished.  It will draw me another step closer to Him.  Just pondering this scripture over the last week has grown my faith and built my expectation in an amazing God. God is BIG.  This weeklong journey started with a simple reading of God’s Word.  That’s the difference of consistent time with God.  There will be “down times” and up times.  Yet, the consistency draws me into Him and He will show up.

When is the last time God blew your mind…could it be today?

(Starting a new run of blogs based off of a talk I did recently for another church staff.  They wanted to know what are the main things I have learned after being at Grace Family Church for almost twenty years.  Here, is my first of seven nuggets.)

Change is The Same…It Happens All the Time

If you do not like change, you are in for a rough ride at Grace and pretty much anywhere.  Immediately, a couple of ironies jump out at me.  In regard to Grace, the things that have not changed are essential – the desire to go after the lost and unchurched, the passion for children and youth and worshipping a BIG God in humility and excellence.  Add to the mix a genuine, real pastor…that is GFC.  The other irony is that it isn’t only at Grace do you see constant change.  It is everywhere – look around at your favorite soft drink, sports team, clothing line, musical artist, etc.  If it is in your life, it is going through change.  Yet, most of us don’t do well with change.  I am not going to list pro’s and cons – all change has its positives and negatives.  What is someone’s joy, is another person’s pain.  I have seen a lot just at Grace and it usually has some element of pain, yet it still brings growth.

The first area where I have experienced change is personally.  When I came to Grace, I was twenty eight years old, married for eight years, with kids ages five, four and three.  As I write this, I am forty six, married for twenty six years and my kids are twenty five, twenty four and twenty two. (the girls have their birthdays later in the year.)  Do you think I have experienced some change in almost twenty years? Where do I begin – physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, maturity, wisdom…the daily list goes on.  There is so much in this area that I will give you some bulleted thoughts, instead of paragraphs:

• I am physically stronger and healthier today than I was before. Each day, I lean into the idea that “I want to be able to  physically do whatever my kids (and now grandkids) want to do.)
• I am free from a insecurity, fear, people pleasing and approval driven life.  I battle every day – but I will not go back.
• I am more in love with God and all that Jesus is as my Savior today – He is BIG and I am not.
• I am content with what God has done for us financially and I love being a giver – it is a inner thrill to me.
• I have grown up from a young man who thought he was the center of it all to an older man who loves to serve and empower others.
• I am wiser and the road to get there hasn’t been easy. Wouldn’t change the road for anything

My personal change has not been easy.  Every one of those statements is loaded with stories, joys, challenges and a journey that has shaped me today.  My encouragement to you is that you embrace change in any area of your life that you deem important.  Will Rogers said it well, “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

The next area that I have seen a lot of change in my time at Grace has been in ministry.  Pastor Craig has a great saying – “The message is sacred, the methods are not.”  So many things we did early on, we do not do anymore.  Ministries that were part of the fabric in the church’s history are no longer in our plan to reach people.  I can use the Children’s ministry as an example.  I was the original children’s pastor for Grace.  What hasn’t changed is the vision to be a resource to parents in leading their children into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ, the values of how that is accomplished and the importance of volunteers to do this.  Even today, those pillars are intact.  But since I led it, so many gifted leaders on our staff and volunteers have taken it farther than I could in my gifts and talents.  I implemented the Halloween Alternative “NightLight.” We don’t do that anymore because overall it didn’t fit into our plans to reach the community.  I started small groups for children.  We don’t do that anymore we want to go in a different direction – and it works!  Pastor Mike Moore has injected great creativity, interaction and infused young leadership into the ministry.  If we stayed at the way I did it, we would not be where we are today.  The great news about all those changes is that it all came in God ordained timing. We grew into the ministry we are today and it allows us bring a greater impact today.  If we were doing Zone TV when we first started, we wouldn’t have the need, the resources or the right people to do it.  Ministries will change because the people God gives us are changing.  We must hear from God how we can continue to change our methods to reach the lost and grow the believer.

I have often joked that “I have done every ministry in the church, except the Women’s ministry. (And now that Kristin oversees that at GFC, I get grandfathered into that one.)  If you are part of a growing, vibrant ministry, you will probably be doing something different than what you are doing today.  Maybe it comes down to calling and gifting.  One of my spiritual gifts is leadership. (Sounds like such a “lofty” gift – it is, but comes with a price tag.)  Name a ministry and I have led it or worked on it at GFC.  I have even served in our parking team one weekend.  (I loved it – got to wave and give a smile to every car that came into church that weekend…and tell them where to go.)  Your role will change.  If it is ok for ministry to change, then you will have to move people into the place that is going to make them and that ministry most effective.  A great example of that is Patricia Davis at GFC.  She started as a Supervisor in the Preschool Department.  With great people and process skills, Pat has served in many areas of our church.  She even was our database champion at one time.  Presently, she is overseeing our new endeavor to connect people at our weekend services, small groups and serving opportunities.  She has brought some great ideas and energy to this area.  Change means moving into the role that will maximize your gifts and talents and have the greatest impact on that ministry.

Finally, relationships will change.  This is the tough one.  I am a Type A, high D, driven person. (insert any evaluation description of a person who wants to lead, get things done, etc).  Yet, I really have grown to love the people that God puts in my life.  Change is the most painful to me when it affects relationships.  I bet that is true for most people.  With all the changes I have seen at Grace, I have allowed relationships that I value deeply to change.  I have worked with so many tremendous people and when I move to a different role, I have given the mantle of leading them to someone else.  Honestly – it stinks!  I wish I could take them with me to my new department because by now, I would have the dream team of support staff.  If I did that, I would be cheating them and Grace of all that God has for them.  My biggest pain in change is “how does this affect me?”  I am writing this with a big finger pointing at me.  My assistant of fourteen years, Toni Ynes, is changing her role to work exclusively with Pastor Craig. (She has served both of us in that role for years.) Toni is the most amazing assistant I can imagine – she finds the perfect balance of getting my assignments done and challenging ideas to make them better.  I am a better pastor and leader because of her input into my life and leadership. Beyond her tremendous work, she and her husband Kenny are a vital part of the Tampa Bonham family.  When the decision was made to change her role, it makes sense.  Our church will grow because of it. Growth comes from the stretching out of your established past into the unknown future. 

Are you experiencing change?  Let me give you a final thought…Embrace it and take it for all it is worth.  Many times, we fight it, complain about it and find ways to keep things the same.  Personally, I don’t want to go back to any of those things of the past.  The highest of joys and the deepest of challenges cannot compare to the potential of what God can do before us.  Learn and grow from the past…then take the first step in confidence with what God is doing today.

 

 

 

(You thought it was just a great title – it is actually one of the questions from the GFC Next Level Leaders class I did a few weeks ago. I thought it was a spectacular question…but not why you think. Read on!)

There is a very old and many times used statement…”being in ministry wouldn’t be so hard if it wasn’t for the people.” When I hear that (and yes, I have said it a few times myself), I hear a very old laugh track in the back of my brain. As long as there has been “ministry,” there have been people. And where there are people, there are problems. You would think that would be what really bothers me about either ministry or people but actually, it isn’t the thing that really bothers me. Let me tell you a story…

My son, Casey, was playing football one year. Like most dads, I loved watching him play! I was amazed at how he could run, throw and tackle. He was always courageous out there and got up every time he took a hit. Even he would tell you there were more talented people out there, but he pushed himself to play hard and have fun. The thing I loved most was that he chose to be a leader. He would be the one encouraging his teammates and jump in first to lead during practice. His leadership was an extra dimension he brought to the team. Except for one practice. Something happened on the field and Casey didn’t like it. Instead of encouraging his teammates to shrug it off, he came over to the sideline, stood by himself and sulked. I walked over to him and he was mad. Like he knew what I was going to say, he held up his hand and said, “I know Dad, just let me stay mad for now.” I backed off and went back to watching practice. He finished up with a lackluster attitude and effort. When we got into the car, we talked about the situation and he vented his frustration. Honestly, he was right about the situation and had a legitimate reason to be mad. (I would have been too…). I agreed with him saying, “Casey, you are right about this. Your reasons are right on, your frustrated, and you have every right to be. BUT, here is what you did that I cannot agree with today or ever. You took yourself out of the game – all your gifts, talents and leadership – and put it on a shelf. When you did that, you could no longer bring influence to the situation.” It was a true “light bulb” experience for both of us.

What really bothers me about people? When they take themselves out of the game and put all that their Heavenly Father has blessed them with in the form of gifts, talents, abilities, wisdom, understanding and relationship…and they put themselves on the shelf. Notice I said, “they put themselves.” They are doing the same thing Casey did – they go away from others, they sulk, act like everyone else is wrong, take a victim mentality, looking for someone to tell them “they are right to be mad, sad, etc. So instead of tapping into all the power and strength of knowing an infinite God, they put Him in a box and themselves into a cage of resentment, bitterness and rejection.

As people, we experience real hurts each day. There is no denying that there are broken people who will impact our lives and we will experience pain. We have to wisely deal with that and get the help we need. But my frustration is more about when people do it to themselves. We can undermine all that God is doing to move us forward.

The other part of this frustration is when people way more talented than I don’t use their gifts and talents to the best of their ability – putting them on the shelf because of fear, insecurity and pride. If you ever watched me do something, you recognize that I probably worked pretty hard to be able to do that. I am not a natural speaker, communicator, strategist, athlete and relationship builder. If it is important to me, I work hard at it to become more proficient at it. I know people who just “flow” when they teach or speak, people who can sing like a pro and athletes who can “get into the game” so easily…yet they falter. Not with dealing with success, but with themselves. They let fear, insecurity and pride eat them up. I have done my share of dealing with these three as well. In the end, I chose God’s design to overcome them and walk free from their strongholds. For someone to use their gifts and talents in true freedom from these chains is truly an amazing thing to watch.

If you could put all your talents, gifts, abilities and personality into a box – where would it be? On the table of life being unpacked at the right time to maximize the impact you can have on this world and others. Or is it on the shelf…filled with potential waiting to be released to a world and others who so desperately need you to bring your best so they can be inspired, challenged and led into a new place of growth. Like Casey, you are the greatest influence to that person or in that situation that is challenging you today. What are you going to choose to do?

Final thought…the only one who can put you on or off that shelf…is you!

(This is another great question from our Next Level Leaders…I found myself giving myself homework after this question!)

How do you find the balance of work, life and God?  Seems like a simple enough question but early in my ministry career, it was actually one of the biggest puzzles for me to figure out.  I was twenty-two when I was hired at Wekiva Assembly to be the Children’s Pastor in Orlando, Florida.  I will always be grateful for my first opportunity to minister – I was young, unsure of a lot of things, had only volunteered with children for a short while.  Plus, I was married with a very young family and trying to figure out how that all worked.  So to create the equation:  Work + Life + God = Balance.  Honestly, there wasn’t a whole lot of balance.  It was more of an isosceles triangle aquarium and water would slosh to one point.  Then, the table would tilt and it would slosh to another point.  I would run from one need to the next.  If you asked me my greatest need at the time it would have been to figure out this equation.  I am not sure if I really got it during my time in Orlando for a couple of reasons.  I was young and needed to grow up.  I didn’t have a mentor at the time who had walked through this in ministry.  Finally, I didn’t have a great grasp of “healthy boundaries.”

Fast forward to today.  What is the answer to the equation?  Realize it is a work in progress for me today but here are some of my insights.

Work

I believe in working hard and giving your very best when you are working.  If you see me at church on a weekend, you might get the impression that I am very relaxed and focused on the people.  That is awesome because I strive each week to serve the people of GFC and I really enjoy doing it.  I think of  our weekend services as the “big game” and want each person to experience God where they are at so He can cause them to take another step closer. For this to happen, requires a lot of work.  You might not see the numerous questions I am asked by staff, leaders and people in the congregation.  Someone has to make final decisions. I look at a lot of details that others might overlook so others who have an eye for those things don’t let the flashing light, piece of trash or missing sign take away from their experience.  When I head home after the last of our weekend services, I am tired.  People take a lot of energy for me but I do love it.

During the work week, my day will begin around 4am.  I get a lot of ribbing about this and I even think I am nuts at times.  This gives me my “God time” for me personally. (More about that later)   The reason I mentioned it as part of my work time is because I consider it a vital part of my work.  If I am not growing spiritually on a personal level, then I will never be able to lead from what God is doing in my relationship.  I will lead from just past experiences  – I have found a person growing in their relationship with God is the best foundation for growing others in theirs.  Monday through Thursday  I work out  and on Tuesday and Thursday, I have breakfast meetings and my small group.  Once I am in the office, I have a very simple job description – “I am an ice breaker boat.  My job is to break the ice pack in front of our staff and ministries as much as I can and then get behind them and empower them to move forward until they cannot go any further.”  (I told you – its pretty simple.)  To do that, I have regular meetings with my direct reports and Pastor Craig, take time to strategize upcoming projects and meet with key leaders of the church.  Simple yes – easy no!  I don’t know how Moses kept moving the masses each day but it does take a lot of work to move GFC each day.  I am blessed with a tremendously gifted staff who really do their jobs well.  In “breaking the ice” for them, we are seeing some tremendous results in God changing lives.  And I will go home usually around 4pm.   I do have “night meetings” but we established a guideline that a pastor shouldn’t be out more than 3 nights a week, including service nights. There are weeks this gets skewed but they are pretty few.  When I go home…I go home.

 

LIFE

I will let you in on a pretty obvious secret about being in ministry…you are never really “off.”  Life happens and you will get calls at all hours of the day because of people.  If you don’t want to intersect people with your life, ministry is the wrong choice of profession. So, my phone, email and text are always on at home.  Here is how I keep the balance of that – yep, you are going to hear my secret to ministry.  The book, “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend gave me the missing key.  The book basically showed me that I am the gatekeeper to all the things I want to let in and keep out of my life.  As a young minister, I felt like I needed to keep the gate wide open so I would not disappoint people.  Of course, I can’t keep it shut at all times either. So, when I am home I do see the calls, texts and emails and I ask myself, “Do I need to do something with this right now?”  Most of the time, the answer is “no.”   Some life experiences are emergencies and you need to act accordingly – I don’t have a problem with that.  However, most of the time, a person is experiencing something or a decision is put into my que because of a situation that taken a while to develop.  If that is the case, it can wait until I am in a better place to give it my undivided attention.  Sounds harsh, right?  I don’t want to disappoint people but I have found that you are going to get the best results from me when I am at my best.  This allows me to enjoy my relationship with Kristin and our family at the highest level.  Believe me, they have given up life experiences because of my ministry.  However, none of them have any resentment to the ministry because we always made them the priority when we are home.  (And as Casey says, “we took really cool vacations as a family.”)

 

GOD

You would think this would be the easy one of the three, but it actually was the hardest.  When I was a young minister, I went from one day of reading my bible to the next day reading my bible because I had a sermon to prepare.  It changes your perspective in a big way.  I had to learn what it meant to go after my “personal” relationship with God and my “professional” relationship with God.  Now that I have been in ministry for almost twenty-five years, it is still tough because you will read the bible and think “I preached this” or “I remember the time when…” and pretty soon you are in ministry mode and not personally growing.

Here is what I do today to grow in my relationship with God. I have four things that I do during my devotional time during the week.  I can choose one, a few or all – read the Bible, pray, worship or sit in quiet before God.  I have come to the place that when I get up, I know which one will feed me that day.  I found that I would get in a rut if I only did one of these each day.  Ironically, I never thought of myself as a “prayer warrior” but this has taken my prayer to a new level because those days become days I really “want” to pray. When you read the bible, I encourage you to do it with a couple of friends.  I have a couple of guys that we post two scriptures from our bible reading each day.  Then we just comment back and forth as we have ideas to share.  It makes it more interactive and I have learned some great truths from these guys.  Finally, I do this only on Sunday through Thursday.  I take Friday and Saturday off.  It gives me permission to get away from the “routine” of doing a devotion.   This works for me, not everyone else.  I encourage you to earnestly find what makes your devotional time work and be consistent.

I do get asked occasionally, “Do you get something at a weekend service or are you working?”  Great question with a simple answer – “Every time.”  I expect for God to give me a nugget from the sermon, an experience from a worship song, a conversation with someone who will grow me closer to God.  I think because my expectation for this is high – God usually delivers.  I don’t put the expectation of those people to provide it, I expect God to do this for me and He does.

Work + Life + God = Balance 

Let me encourage you to take this equation and put yourself to the test.  My homework after meeting with the NLL leaders – evaluate each area in this equation for where I am today and write about it in this blog.  What will your assignment be?

 

Today is June 9th – a very special day, indeed! I will wish a happy birthday to three men who have all challenged me to grow. You will see that it is a huge theme in my life – growth. I love stepping forward even when I don’t didn’t think it was possible. So with all due respect to others who share this birthday, these three men have impacted me in their own unique way – and they all were born on this day.

Matt Taylor – Happy Birthday! It is pretty rare that one would meet and become great friends with a brother-in-law before actually meeting his sister. I met Matt in our church youth group in Orlando. I called him “Commander Max” because he went to NASA space camp and was a shuttle commander. He and my brother, Matt, were college roommates and got into some of the craziest predicaments two Christian boys at U of Florida could imagine. (AKA – the water balloon launcher incident, the apartment, the list goes on…) Matt has gone on to become a gifted mechanical engineer but one thing he I love about him is that he is a great dad to his kids. He loves exploring new experiences with his kids – geocaching, skim boarding, shelling, skateboarding, science projects, building contraptions out of household appliances, etc. It inspires the creativity in me. I want to be that adventuresome with my grandkids!

Bill Morris – Happy Birthday! In the number of years that I have known Bill, I have grown in my leadership, my ability to see the positive in most things and see the world through a “different lens.” I really encourage everyone to get a group of people who can sit on their “personal board.” People who can speak into the various areas of your life. Bill is the “Chairman of the Board.” He is one of those people and speaks into my life in the most profound way. His wisdom and insights into people haves transformed me to see the good in people and situations. I still struggle with being critical at times but Bill has shown me the wonder of choosing the good and leaving the bad. I believe so much in his mentorship that he has influenced my entire family with his insights and has been a catalyst in changing our world.

David Bonham – Happy Birthday! I have known this guy from my first breath and he is an amazing dad. I often tell people that if you have met me, you have met my dad. We both talk with our hands, have a thirst for wisdom and common sense, while strategically trying to maximize life’s challenges . So when you spend time with me, you can thank my dad for establishing a strong foundation in all those areas. You can also thank him for having the courage to accept Christ as his Lord and savior. In doing so, he changed the life direction of his entire family consisting of my mom, sister and two brothers. And subsequently, the eighteen grandkids from me and my siblings. That decision solidified our family and put the love of God and each other as the cornerstone. Dad, I am the man I am today because of so many people. But, if you didn’t make that decision so long ago and establish a strong foundation of love, respect, integrity and honor in my life – I can’t even imagine what I would look like today. You continue to speak into my life and cause me to be a better husband and father.  I’m glad you are still here pouring into my life – I love you, Dad.

Three men who share the same birthday. They all continue to make a big mark on my life today. Thank you men!

This was one of the questions from Grace Family’s Next Level Leaders. I actually get this question every now and then. It is always a compliment when someone asks – it’s nice to know that someone thinks you have something to say. Ironically, it was probably one of the greatest challenges I ever faced as member of the GFC staff.

The church had been going for about ten years and I was one of the regular speakers when Pastor Craig was not in the pulpit. Sounds impressive but there was only the two of us pastors for a while and even adding more staff was geared toward building other needs of the church. One day, Craig and I are going through our weekly meeting and he says, “Chris, I need to tell you that you are not going to be a primary speaker at Grace anymore. You are a good speaker but we have other guys who are more gifted to preach than you. Plus, I have a lot of other things that I want you to do.” Shock, awe and insecurity raced through me as quick as he finished speaking the words. Questions reverberated in my head – “How can you be a pastor and not speak?” “What does this look like?” “What do I do if I am not speaking?” All valid questions but they were all couched in one word – FEAR.

I asked Craig if I could pray about it over the weekend. I wish I could say that I was a rock of faith but I started pretty angry about the whole thing. “All those times I filled in and now this?” “Didn’t God work in people’s lives? “What about all the times in the past – were they not good enough?” After a while, my anger switched back to the fear mode. If you think a pastor doesn’t go through these emotions in our daily challenges, you are wrong. No one gets a Fast Pass through life’s challenges. After letting anger and fear win for a few hours, a small thought changed it all.

“Do you trust Craig?”

I chewed on this one question for a while. I can say then and to this day, the answer is emphatically “yes!” Craig has always done an amazing job of being my boss but he has done an even more amazing job being my pastor. Could I trust him in the hundreds of decisions he made about GFC – you bet! He truly hears from God and brings tremendous vision to our church. The results are the thousands of people who have received Christ over the years. So many lives changed because of his leadership. So now, one of those decisions focused on me and it isn’t going in my favor. Then, the next question hits me…

Can you trust me in this?

I chewed on this one for a while as well. It’s like telling a MLB pitcher he is going to start throwing with the opposite hand. It just didn’t make sense, I didn’t see any answers and my identity/ security was going to change in a big way. Can I trust God when all that is pointed in a different direction? God has a way of challenging me from the inside out. My circumstances that you can see is nothing compared to the battle zone of my mind. In the end, I wrestled to the point of realizing that I needed to obey God and Craig in this area.

I went in on Monday and talked with Craig about it. I told him that I prayed about it and will do whatever he feels is best. Craig said, “You will still speak, just not as much.” He outlined some different projects that he wanted me to work on and that was it. We both went with the decision and got to work.

So here is the kicker…I believe it was one of the most pivotal and BEST decisions he ever made at GFC. I see now that it really propelled me into the realm that best uses my gifts of leadership and maximizer. It gave me the ability to focus on my projects that were instrumental in GFC’s growth. I moved into the role of an executive pastor that began to open up more doors of growth. I discovered that one of my greatest joys is empowering others to use their gifts at the highest level. Not trying to sound arrogant but I believe that our church would not be where it is today if I do not go through this process. (Let me quickly add, there are a number of key staff and leaders who I could say this about – this just happens to be part of my journey.) Finally, I found out I do like speaking – to groups of leaders, staffs athletes, businessmen and other who are making an impact. Instead of the thousands, I make a better impact with teaching and interacting with those groups. I truly love it!

Honestly, I don’t really miss speaking. Every year, P. Craig asks me if I want to speak and says if I feel like God gives me a message, I have the green light to share. I appreciate it when he does – like I said, he is a great pastor and boss. I have yet to say “Yes” because I truly don’t want to disrupt the role and projects I am fulfilling now. I will if the Lord prompts me to but I am really content and secure in who I am in Christ now. (Another amazing decision/ journey.)

I will end it on a high note. I do actually speak each year – I have assumed the role of Christmas Eve, 11pm speaker. (Anyone who knows me, knows that I get up around 4am and go to bed most days at 9:30 pm – God does have a sense of humor.) Pastor Mark Q started this service and when he left, I was given the responsibility. It has grown into a large service. I am amazed when I realize how many people are still awake and come together for the last service of a crazy busy Christmas week. I have grown to love this time slot – very much about traditions I love and time with my family. Last year, I had the honor of closing the service with my son singing behind me, while I prayed holding my grandson. That was pretty special. I still stand in awe when we light each person’s candle and worship the new born king…amazing!

I still get asked about speaking – thank you for the compliment and the kind words. The whole journey means more than you will ever know…

(I am working on a couple of entries around a series of questions that I answered when I shared with Grace Family Church’s Next Level Leaders.  This is a group of lay adult leaders who are interested in growing and stepping up in their leadership role at the church.  When I was scheduled, I asked them to submit questions about what they wanted to discuss from the day to day workings of the church.  This was an amazing night!  Their questions were broken down into two categories:  personal and ministry. This was the first question…)

What are you watching and looking at and thinking about when you stand at the bottom of the stairs every weekend?

This was the first question on the two pages given to me.  I read it while sitting in an airport with Pastor Craig and laughed out loud because I thought it was so good.  The night I spoke, I gave the person who asked it, a $5 gift card to Starbucks for asking the “best question of the night.”  If you remember in an earlier post, I talked about the importance of asking questions and learning to ask the “right question.”  There is only one person in the world who could answer this question – me!

Here is my answer:  EVERYTHING!

When GFC built the Van Dyke Sanctuary, I decided in the building process that I needed to find a location that I could stand which would allow me to get information quickly, keep a pulse of environments, greet as many people as possible and be accessible.  I actually walked the building and courtyard as it neared conclusion and came up with this area.  I work hard to get to this spot as much as I can.  Every so often, someone or a group of people will settle there to talk to wait for someone.  I will wade right into the spot with them because I value this location so much.  It sounds petty but the reasons I listed above are very strategic to me doing my job on the weekend.

One of my responsibilities is to oversee everything that happens on a weekend.  With so many tremendous staff and volunteers doing great things in their ministries, I am very comfortable sitting back and letting them run with it.  Yet, you still need someone who is the “umbrella” to all that is happening at the campus.  I get feedback on traffic flow, air temperature, people counts, live streaming, sound levels, lighting, volunteers, resources, “situations” and even the sermon all in real-time during the service.  You can imagine that the 5pm is the most chaotic because it is the first.  A minute before that service begins, I will run up to the tiers so I can get the service related information.  The other three services, I am at the stairs or walking around gathering information about how GFC is serving those who are on the campus.

The second thing I am looking for at the bottom of the stairs are environments.  I know I can’t be everywhere but I can see how the traffic is flowing, first time guests are being greeted, the Starbucks in the lobby, the music is flowing, the preschool check in, the courtyard activity is developing – all by standing in the one spot.  I am always looking for the environments and if we can improve them.  (I am a maximizer – it is what I do.)  For example, I am looking for garbage and stray items all the time.  Do our sign up areas have people and resources so guests can get information from a friendly face, quickly?  Is someone hurrying and if they are, why so? It sounds intense but after a few times you learn to scan and pick up stuff pretty quick.

Thirdly, is I get to greet people.  If you only knew how I have grown 180 degrees on my interaction skills with people.  I used to really hate greeting.  In fact, early in my arrival at GFC, Pastor Craig pulled me aside and told me I need to “change my face” as I walked through the crowd.  He said, “I know you have things to do but you are looking so intense, people think you are angry.”  Now, I love to see the people who come to GFC.  Diverse in race, personality, career, age, talents, gifting – we have some of the most extraordinary people who call us their church home.  It is humbling.  So, I want to greet as many people as I can.  Beyond that, I ask a ton of questions while standing there to learn more about them and their lives.  It really charges me up now.  Also, I do ask about their interaction with the campus ministries. (Another way to get data and check the environments.)  The funniest thing about this part is that there are still people who do not know that I am on staff.  They think I am the most dedicated volunteer and greeter.  I started wearing a name badge a few years ago and you can see them realize “Oh, now I get it.”

Finally, I stand there for a purpose most would overlook.  On the 17 acres of that campus, sometimes it is nice to know there is a constant place to find me.  (Sounds weird)  I actually had a sweet, older woman come in one day after dropping off the 6 kids was watching.  She walked up to me and asked, “where were you the last two weeks?”  I said, “I was on vacation for one and at one of our other campuses the following week.”  She said, “Don’t do that to me…you have to be here.”  We laughed and I gave her a big hug – it was nice to be missed.  Most of the time, if a person has a question – guest, volunteer, or staff – they will head to the stairs to see if I am there.  It makes a large church  a lot smaller.  Yes, I actually thought of that a long time ago.  And yes, that means Pastor Craig knows where to find me too and he does that when he needs it.  We both can appreciate that.

So, next time you are at GFC on the Van Dyke campus, stop by the stairwell.  I will probably be there…talking, laughing, asking a question, giving a hug, picking up litter…it is what I do and where I do it!

 

This past weekend, the Elders and Board of GFC announced that our Lead Pastor will be taking a three-month sabbatical this summer. I am sure some had questions, but for the most part, it was met with a positive approval that truly wanted what was best for Craig and Debbie.  A sabbatical is pretty common amongst senior pastors and is a great way to get away to recharge, reflect and rejuvenate before jumping back into ministry. As someone who watches from the “next rung down,”  I am excited for them.  It isn’t easy being the final say on everything at GFC, even when you have great people under you.  In the end, you own it all.

Which brings us to a place where GFC has never gone before – three months without our lead pastor…leading us.  We have ribbed him pretty good but the truth is that in less than two weeks – we are on our own.  This is where the good news comes in – we are ready!  This has been such a great challenge for us as a staff to prepare our processes and mindsets that we have to lead “without the net.”  We have enjoyed some great conversations about how we need to communicate and implement with Craig gone.  We have proactively planned the entire summer weekend schedule and built the structure for the fall ministries to kick off.  In other words, we are ahead of schedule and on board with what we need to do.

The challenge is not the church…it is us.  Namely, the biggest challenge is me.  I have a phrase that I have been using the last few years and it really has helped me.  “I have never been in this place before.”  Seems pretty simple, huh?  How can that be so strategic when facing life’s crisis?  Simple…I give myself the grace to know that in a challenging situation, I have not faced this particular situation ever before.  Since that is true, I go out to find the answers I need for the first time.  When my daughter got married for the first time, I had never faced that before.  When Craig told me that I wouldn’t preach much anymore, I had never faced that before.  When I received the call that my dad had fallen off a roof and was being air lifted to the hospital, I had never faced that before. Even good news like that Kristin and I are going to be grandparents, Casey wanted to record a CD and Abby was going to nanny in New York….never been through those before.  Finally, even situations that have happened before like Christmas Eve at GFC, weddings, births, deaths – remember, you have never been where you are from a physical, emotional, financial, age and life perspective sense.  This one phrase gives me such a peace that God would allow something to happen at the time that He chose. It also gives me the grace I need to know that I don’t have to have all the answers. I realize I am limited in my own abilities and need God to walk with me through this.  

As the summer sabbatical is only a few days away, I am invigorated by the challenge.  I know there will be some tough situations and conversations ahead.  Ironically, I have them all the time anyway but it will be from a different perspective.  I have some ideas for staff initiatives to implement and already know that I will get asked “if Craig knew about this before he left.” (The answer is yes)  I know that I will walk into a weekend service missing my favorite pastor speaker – you would think it gets old after nineteen and a half years but I still get something out of every sermon he preaches.  This is going to be a different summer!  Yet, if we do it right, the growth at GFC and in ourselves will be immense and set us up for the next wave of ministry.

Day one of the sabbatical is coming…I have never been in this place before!

 

 

 

He saw through their trickery and said, “Show me a Roman coin. Whose picture and title are stamped on it?”“Caesar’s,” they replied. “Well then,” he said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”  Luke 20:24,25

Jesus is being challenged by the religious leaders and he knows it.  Instead of venting his anger and frustration, he ask a question.  The answer to that question gives him the “fuel” to lower the boom with a statement that epitomizes common sense and amazing wisdom. After you read his final response, you say to yourself, “That is the perfect answer!”

My friend and I are going through a daily bible study where we have to text each other a verse from the reading.  This is the one I picked today.  I chose it because I want wisdom like this on a daily basis.  Life can definitely throw you some curve balls and when it does, I want to be able to say, “that was the perfect answer.”  The perfect answer doesn’t happen very often – those are rare moments where wisdom, common sense, and Godly insight come together to give an answer and direction that move the entire group forward. But good, solid answers can be a normal occurence if you employ a great tool – ask good questions.

I remember sitting with my grandfather, Ed “Pop” Williams in 5th grade when he came to visit us in Florida.  He was such a fascinating man – he had six children, a phrase “the queen is up” when my grandmother would wake up, a long career with Boston Gear and an insatiable desire to learn.  In fact, when he retired from Boston Gear, he went back to Harvard as part of their seniors program.  You could attend classes for free and he took full advantage of it.  One class he told me about was where it was student led.  Each student would get up and share a class lesson on their life passion.  He said people would talk about WWW 2 planes, chinese culture, fitness, etc.  I can only imagine the wealth of insights learned through that class.  During this visit, Pop and I are talking and two things I have remembered since then.  One, he shared with me the democratic process in America.  He said, “This is what distinguishes America from all the other countries in the world.”  Secondly, he said “Learn how to ask questions and more importantly, learn to ask the right questions.”  It is one of the most important lessons I teach my kids, the people I mentor and anyone who wants to grow in their leadership.

Questions are fuel.  If you want to grow, ask a lot of questions.  If you are unsure of what the next step is, ask more questions.  If you need more time to feel comfortable about a decision, clarifying questions will give you assurance.  Finally, if you want to honor someone else, ask them questions about themselves.  A question is not stalling or putting off what needs to be done.  It is fuel that gives you more information, insights, assurance and new-found knowledge that will allow you to walk with more confidence and wisdom.  

How does this come into play as a minister?  I face life situations all the time when people walk in my door.  If I rely on my wisdom, it isn’t going to get us very far.  When I rely on Godly wisdom and insights from the Lord, I find myself saying things and yes, asking questions, that brings out the truth.  I wish I could say every time is a winner.  I get stumped just like everyone else.  But when I feel a nudge from God to ask a question, it usually has a great effect on the outcome.  You can ask God to give you right questions and answers.  James 1:5 says, “ If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”

To take a huge step in your approach to growth, ask more questions.  Are you going to start today…that is a question?

(Can’t show you a picture of God, but here is one of Pop!  He was the real deal!)