“For we live by believing and not by seeing.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

When I read the scripture above, I can almost picture the snow capped mountains against a blue sky. The chiseled rock shimmering amongst the blackened crevices and sporadic outgrowths of green fauna. It is the perfect motivational poster on a screen saver or office wall.

Here is what it is in real life…TENSION! We live in a world we can see while serving a God and his principles that we cannot see. Tension. His ways are not our ways. Tension. Our human nature vs. his Godly nature. Tension. Love your enemies and pray the best for them. Tension. When slapped, turn the other cheek. Tension. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.(Heb. 11:1 KJ) Tension.

This is a great journey and mystery. Find the balance and live all that God has for you today!

“One Sabbath day as Jesus was teaching in a synagogue, he saw a woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit. She had been bent double for eighteen years and was unable to stand up straight.  When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, “Dear woman, you are healed of your sickness!” ”  Luke 13:10 -12 (NLT)

I love this scripture because of those three words – “he saw her.”  Lance Witt, in his book “Replenish,” brings out this point vividly by saying “Many of the stories from the Gospels are not about Jesus’ encounters with the crowds.  They are about him paying attention to the individual.”

Try this simple challenge…read the scripture above and in three minutes, list your observations.  Here are mine:

• Jesus was doing what he was called to do
• He saw the woman in her present state
• Did he know how long she was bent over?  What caused it?
• It says he saw her twice in this passage
• He saw, he brought her close, he healed
• It was the Sabbath – no, no to heal on the Sabbath
• It was in the place of worship – lady continued to pursue God after eighteen yrs of sickness
• How did Jesus see her if she was bent over in a crowd?  Maybe, he was looking for her
• She couldn’t stand straight up – how many other people appeared straight up and Jesus looked past them?

Honest, that was three minutes.  (Even corrected a few typos for your benefit.)  Lance’s statement about the individual is tremendous and a part of our daily life that needs to be addressed.  There is a time for meetings and corporate gatherings.  More importantly, there needs to be time for the individual.

In looking back on my list of observations, which one jumps out to you the most?  For me, the question of Jesus being able to see her if she was bent over intrigues me.  How could she make eye contact if she was facing the ground?  How would Jesus even see her in a crowd?  In a world today where we work so hard to be noticed, here is a lady who after eighteen years, understood that she was not going to be noticed.  She was going to be overlooked and put aside by those looking for the attention of the teacher.  Every other day, this was true.  Not this day.  Today, the teacher put others aside for the one that wasn’t being noticed.  For the one who still pursued God when for eighteen years, He hadn’t healed her.  For the one who came to the place of worship when she could have easily stayed home and said, “I’ll honor God in the privacy and safety of my own home.”  This lady amazes me for all the times I look in the mirror and complain about how “difficult” it is.

Here is my challenge for you today – Are you the teacher or the lady?  Do you need to slow down and notice the person that no one else is noticing today?  Do you need to create margin in your day to show God’s love to someone who needs it? Are you the “lady” who demonstrates the perseverance to continue to serve God when it looks like just another day?  Are you the one who is “standing tall” on the outside and “bent over and broken” on the inside.

All these challenges are tough.  Yet, today is the day that He sees you…

Shout out Sunday! I am writing this in honor of my beautiful niece, Julia. When she and my sister-in-law picked me up at the Nashville Airport, she asked, “Can I get a shout out in your blog?” I thought about it and I think I will make this a regular segment. Seven people who I am thinking about this week. Doesn’t mean I don’t think about more of you – just people who caused me to pause for an extra moment this week. Let’s do this…

Julia Bonham. The instigator of this post deserves the first shout out ever on this blog. Julia wants to go to culinary school to become a pastry chef. The more she told me about it in the car, the more I wish I could enjoy the amazing morsels she makes. She has helped and worked at her local bakery in Tellico Plains for a long time. I am reminded how cool it is to be young and have a dream. Thanks Julia – you make me want to dream more!

Cade Weldon. Another amazing young person. Cade is a sophmore at Jefferson High in Tampa and the starting quarterback. He is gifted, talented and comes from a long line of amazing athletes in his family. Another thing about Cade, he is one of the most honoring, respectful, humble and nicest kids you would ever meet. When he threw four touchdowns to start the season last week, he followed that up by bringing three of his teammates to church. He introduced each one to me and made sure I got all their names. This is an amazing kid – watch him! He might be the next FSU quarterback. Beyond that, I hope he continues to impact other people’s worlds like he impacts mine.

Chris Jericho. Yep, that Chris Jericho. I have been blessed to know the “The Human Highlight Reel” for a long time. He is an amazing entertainer, singer, writer, and actor. What a lot of people don’t see is the gracious, giving person he is. When he found out about a funeral of a mutual friend, he made sure that he and his wife were there to support the family. I don’t put celebrities and athletes on a pedestal, but I admire the “Chris” I know behind the scenes. He could be so busy, but to take the time to love on a hurting family means more to me than he will ever know.

Allan Andreasen. This is my friend who we lost two weeks ago. I can now share that he struggled with depression and took his life that night. It is a terrible disease and I can’t even begin to imagine the painful journey it took him through. I can appreciate his years of support, words of wisdom and way of pushing me to grow. He was one of the good ones you want to never lose…I am sad that we did. I will miss him. I often talk about the “Tampa family.” He was one of the first ones to adopt the five Bonhams into his.

Jodi Labban. Jodi is my trainer and the owner of FIT Personal Training and Group Fitness. At the time of this writing, I weigh the same weight as when I trained for a marathon. I am stronger and in the best shape of my life. She didn’t give up on me when I couldn’t do certain moves or got down on myself. She pushed me for more. Today, I see and feel the results of her coaching. I need to workout. I have enough stress and pressures in my life. With her workouts, I let it all go. For a short person, she stands tall in my book.

Tracy Wells. This is my sister. She had a tumor the size of a racquetball removed from her skull this week. I amazed at her determination, fight and continual love for the Lord. She might be “beat up” here…but she will win. I have seen grace and beauty in many forms. It was a whole new look when I got to see her for the first time after her surgery. She is an amazing mom, wife and leader. You did good, Trace! I love you!

There you go! Shout out Sunday! Enjoy your week!

I was a freshman at University of South Florida studying to be a doctor. Taking all the classes that “weeded” out the “wanna be’s” were as difficult as advertised. As I went through my first semester, no problem. At the same time, I became involved in my church youth group and another ministry called Circus Allelujah. High Places was a great youth ministry and I learned so much serving under Pastor Craig’s leadership about helping people grow in Christ. The circus would perform the same acts as the FSU circus because its leaders, Bill and Meg Greenman, graduated from their program. In doing a show, we would perform a circus act (mine were juggling, trapeze, double trap) followed by a performer’s testimony. The show ended with an altar call and so many people would accept Christ. I was in a “crucible of callings.” I love medicine (even today.) But something about ministry began to pull me toward it. Both would impact lives, help them for the better and allow me to bring Christ to a hurting world.

In my second semester, the battle amped up even more. The church and the circus were key parts of my own Christian walk. I was growing so much and I really loved helping others grow in their own faith. School was tough but I was drawn to the goal of being a doctor. It was a virtual tug of war. I prayed so much but couldn’t get the definitive “yes” to either one.

In my first semester of my sophomore year, I continued to pursue all three avenues. One day, in Organic Chemistry, I was sitting in the last row of the lecture hall. The teacher was droning on and I said for the umpteenth time, “God, am I supposed to be a minister or a doctor.” In one of the few times in my life, I know that I heard God almost audibly, “Chris, I want you to be a minister.” That was it. It came that simply and that easily. I was shocked that after all that “work,” it could be that simple.

When I tell that story, people ask, “How do you know that it was God? How do you know you heard right?” Those are fair questions – here’s my answer. I couldn’t be more fulfilled, empowered and happier doing anything else. There are days it is challenging and hard work. People and life are messy and sometimes answers elude me. But even after twenty-five years, I still know I made the right decision. (I do ask my doctor friends about any cool medical break throughs) For me, it’s never been about the job…it is about fulfilling a life calling.

It started out as a way to communicate to one of my baseball players during the season and talk about God. I wish I could say it was my idea, but it actually was his. He said, “Let’s read our own Bible devotion and then you have to put two scriptures up on the message thread.” I was thinking this was a funky idea. Then he said, “And you have to write a sentence about why you wrote down this scripture.” It got funkier. Even so, I was game…so I said, “Let’s do it.”

A year later, we still do it. We had grown rules. I only do it Sunday through Thursday. You are never required to do it. Yet, if you miss more than three days, you are going to get called out. In that time, we picked up two more guys. They were sporadic at first but they are starting to pick up a steady, stream of input.

Here is the win. We say all the time at Grace, “community is important to your spiritual growth.” I found out that you could experience community even on a message thread about the Bible. I still do my small group at the hospital on Thursdays and I really value and appreciate those guys. They cause me to grow in my knowledge of the bible. The thread gives me another view into how these men see the Bible. Both communities are powerful in their ability to link up and grow in Christ.

It isn’t the ALS Ice Bucket challenge. Yet, I challenge you to get a group of people and come up with your own Bible Challenge. You will see how community can be a catalyst for you to grow in your knowledge and understanding of God’s Word.

I write this as I am flying to Nashville to join my parents and siblings to be there for my sister’s brain surgery. Even as I type this, it still is pretty surreal. As I was preparing for service two weeks ago, I received a call from my sister explaining that they found a tumor the size of a racquetball in the meningeal area between her brain and skull. There were tears, a promise to talk more the next day and the statement, “I’ll send you a picture.” It was the one above…and when I saw it for the first time, I gasped.

Fast forward to the present. As I walked to the plane, I got word that she was out of surgery and that it went well. Good news! The whole journey has caused me to contemplate a lot about pain and tough situations my life. I know my sister is a fighter and whatever it takes to move forward in this, she will do it. She ran for her college, has given birth to nine kids and just sold her house to live on a boat with her family – she knows how to get things done. So many others demonstrate that same sense of resilience that is needed to make it through life’s toughest moments. I fly home to celebrate a life that isn’t with us anymore. Next week, there is a fundraiser for Ezra – the little guy who lost to cancer but kicked a lot of butt along the way. I don’t have enough room in this post to explain God, pain and all the “why’s.”

After all the pondering, I came up with one word… Hope. I Corinthians 13 talks about the big three – Faith, hope and love. I always thought hope was the odd one out. Faith and love seem to be concepts that point to God. But hope, it points to the unknown. It points to a pregnant expectation for something to happen. It reminds you that it is out of your control. It is Christ…wait, where did that come from?  Colossians 1:27 (NIV) says, “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”
That is what gives me peace in the toughest situations. In a relationship with Christ, we have access to something that can only come from that relationship with Christ. A supernatural, eternal hope that comes because everything that seems “insurmountable,” will bow it’s knee to the one who created it.

I know there are countless questions about pain, situations, love, fairness and why. I can’t imagine going through those situations without hope. Hope that says, “I am with you, you can do this, keep going…you are not alone. I’m in this with you.”

(I wrote this on the afternoon of 9/3/14.  Got to spend 30 wonderful minutes with my sister when I arrived. Today was a special day.)

What happens when a “non speaking” pastor…speaks?

I can’t share what happens with everyone else but I can share my approach to speaking. Ironically, I speak more than I let on in my writings. I do monthly baby dedications and occasional chapels with our staff. With Pastor Craig out on sabbatical, I seemed to speak more at functions where he would lead. I am used to that role of “behind the stage” speaking.

Recently, I was asked to speak to our Married Life ministry and it was so cool to prepare a “message.” I actually get more out of the preparation part than you would think. I like reading the commentaries and Hebrew/ Greek resources. I am always inspired and intrigued by the Bible. The daily applications are right there when you dig into it and go beyond “just reading the book.” Some great resources for your own bible study would include: bible.com, blueletterbible.com, and parallelbible.com. These sites allow you to really get some historical, cultural and definitive insights into God’s word.

The next thing I work on is “the need.” If I am speaking for another person’s ministry, I will ask them if there is anything they specifically want me to address. In this case, Pastor Chris wanted me to focus on communication and expectations. I have learned that a leader almost always knows the needs of his group and I will serve him better to go with his blessing than doing my own thing. The only time I haven’t gotten a “need” is when Pastor Craig will ask me to share what is on my heart or do the Christmas Eve late service. I am a big believer in speaking out of the “outflow” of what God is showing you in your own spiritual walk. If you do that, it will be vibrant and alive because you are living it out. And I cannot downplay it, I love doing the Christmas Eve late service. The traditional songs, candle light and a story that brings eternal hope…if you can’t get excited about that, c’mon!

The final thing I focus on when I speak is the “bottom line.” What is the one phrase that a person listening will take away from your message. Let’s be honest, we live in a culture where people are inundated with messages all day long. Andy Stanley developed this principle and I whole heartedly agree that a speaker needs to have a clear take away from a message. He asks, “what do you want them to know and what do you want them to do?” My goal is to answer both those questions with a nugget that can be implemented that week and will be a catalyst for further growth to come.

Do I miss speaking on a regular basis? Not really – I love leading and developing others to lead in the church environment. It is truly an honor when someone asks you to speak into a group of people. When I do speak, I enjoy the preparation and the moment! Helping people grow in their relationship with Christ, leadership or their own talents…what a rush!

No one likes confrontation. I don’t like confrontation. But…I love the results. As I continue in my journey as a Christian, husband, father and Pastor, confronting “life’s challenges” allows there to be dialogue.

One of my nuggets in recent years is that “the best compliment I can give a person, is to speak to them openly and honestly.” That doesn’t give me permission to be crass or unfiltered. Instead, it gives me a platform to speak directly and truthfully about how I feel about the situation. If one can do this without judgement of a person, it can be a very positive conversation. The key is that the other person has permission to do the same. What happens is honest dialogue that eliminates the “behind the conversation” message. In communicating through these challenges, it takes the questions away from what the true message is. The people can evaluate, think and ponder what the other person is saying. In the end, they will agree, disagree or need more time. But, there shouldn’t be personal offense or attack.

I recently shared with a group of pastors the principle of having the hard conversations today. This was a challenging subject and we discussed it at length. Here is a tip I shared that might make it easier for you. Say the hard thing in two sentences and take a breath.   Your job is to craft your sentence about the issue, not the person.  Remember, attack the problem, not the person.   If the person is the problem, you can usually distill it down to a behavior or spoken words that create.  The reason you take a breath is because we instinctively want to rush in and save the person and the moment from pain.  By taking a breath, you allow the statement to sink in and let them process.  It also allows you to read their body language to see how they are receiving the message.   Then, you can follow it up with this statement. “I know I said a lot to consider.  If you want to take some time to think about this and we can talk later.  Think of any questions you may have and we can discuss it then.”  Why is that important?  They are usually surprised by your  statement and need to process.  Give them that respect to get their minds around what you have had a longer time to process. If they choose to discuss it then, patiently answer the questions truthfully and keep resolving the issue. Resolution comes when both sides know the issue and can take steps forward from it.

This is a great principle.  It works in all relationships – spouse, kids, friends, family, business and acquaintances.  In the end, what is your alternative?  To simply continue with that behavior or action and just “live with it?”  By saying the hard thing today, everyone gets to move forward.

The Bonham Bus rolled for some of the most memorable times in my life.  My parents bought it and it became the main vehicle to get around with four growing kids to church, sports and life’s activities.  I remember when my parents got their first “adult” car, it just seemed weird not to pile into the bus.  We kept it…actually, I kept it.  I drove it to college for my freshman year.  At one of the High Places youth small groups, we creatively got twenty-two people inside to make a video.  That bus has too many great stories.  Like my parents, I eventually got an “adult” car when I was getting ready to marry Kristin.

I have been thinking about the Bonham Bus recently because of all the stories around it.  One stands out because it was a life lesson that I have never forgotten.  All the kids in my family  decided we were going to do a lawn business.  Since my sister was the only one old enough to drive, Tracy was the “wheel man.” (“wheel person”)  She would work alongside Jon, Matt and I taking care of people’s lawns.  We were blessed that we had friends in a retirement community.  We had twelve – fifteen lawns that we would take care of each week.  We took the middle seat out of the bus and loaded it with our lawn mower, rakes, bags, and hand trimmer. (Let’s say our equipment didn’t look anything like you would even consider using today…I did use the phrase “hand trimmer.”)  We piled in that bus every week and make our run.

Here’s the lesson.  On the first day, we hit those houses and everyone worked so hard.  But, we were all telling each other what to do, when to do it and how it should be done.  I don’t remember too much yelling but by the time we got back in the bus to get home, none of us were happy.  We all sat down with my dad and proceeded to finger point, complain and whine about the chaos of the day.  My dad is pretty wise and he shared a Solomon moment.  He said, “Ok, here is what you are going to do next week.  Next week, Tracy is in charge.  Everybody has to do what Tracy says.”  My sister sat up a little taller and looked at us with a smile.  But then my dad said, “The next week, Jon is in charge.  Everybody has to do what Jon says.”  Jon sat up a little taller and gave a smile back to Tracy.  (Matt and I were not smiling and not sitting taller by the way.)  My dad finished with this, “We will rotate the person in charge each week.  As the leader, you will assign the tasks that each person does during your week.  If you aren’t happy with someone, be careful.  Remember, they are going to be the leader in the next few weeks.”

I have always remembered those lessons…”when you lead, respect others and they will respect you.”  “Lead the way you want others to lead you.”  “Giving other people the opportunity to lead can be healthy and make you a better group.”  It was a great catalyst for leadership for all of us.  It seems like a long time ago but the lessons are still true today.

The simple days of four kids and a bus are gone.  I miss the simplicity of piling into a puke green, lawn mower sounding engine vehicle with my siblings – those were good times.  Those are memories you build a life on each day.

I have started a birthday tradition that my family has come to expect.  What started as a simple question, now becomes a journey of pondering, thinking and finally, putting it into words.  Each time someone has a birthday, we have a special meal, their favorite dessert, cards, a couple presents and this one question…

What is your biggest nugget for the year?

I have had some really good ones  in the last few years.

“Live out of control.”  (Live with Him in control)

“Slowing down to the speed of life…live in the moment”

“Learn to ask the right questions.”

“He is BIG.”

This year’s is actually a tough one.  As I turn forty-seven yrs old on September 1st, I have “re-learned” a lesson too many times in this last year.  In fact, a lot of the blogs that I have written recently revolve around this nugget.

“Hug tightly, Hold Loosely.”

I never went through the “invincible” stage where I thought I would live forever and that nothing could hurt me.  Yet, this past year has shown me the importance of celebrating the people in my life even more.  I looked around the table and realized that the greatest gift I could ever receive for my birthday was sitting in those seats (minus my son-in-law, Christopher, who was out-of-town.)  That doesn’t include the rest of my family who live outside of Tampa and my Tampa family who aren’t biological but relationships that I treasure.  People make life so amazing!  Messy at times too!  I want people to know I cherish them and all the flavor they bring to my life.  I choose to hug more and share my gratefulness for all that others do that makes my life complete.

I want to hold loosely…”things.”   I have seen too many people put possessions, achievements and getting ahead as their “purpose.”  My purpose revolves around the people God allows me to intersect with on a daily basis.  Things are good but I have learned how quickly they can come and go.  Too many times, the journey for things has caused me to get off track, frustrated and confused.  “Living out of control” continues to show me that “they are just things.”  And that isn’t always bad things, there have been some amazing blessings this past years.  In hindsight, the greatness of those moments also revolved around having special people to celebrate them with

This past year, I have enjoyed the birth of my first grandson, added more people to our Bonham Family and grown in my relationship with God. I have been inspired by more people than they will ever know. Also, I have lost some special people who I will think about and shed my tears in the quietness of the morning. Life goes on. In one week, I will be forty-seven years old.  I can’t wait to see what happens in the year to come.