I was picking up the weights in the gym to start a set of squats while the radio blared the end of a song.  Going strait to a commercial, I heard these words…

“Cancer hates courage.”

The promotion went on but I just thought about those words.  Even as I strained through the last few reps, I thought about the words.  Cancer hates courage.  It isn’t alone.

Struggle Hates Courage. Anxiety hates courage.  Pressure hates courage and Fear hates courage. (To name a few)

Lets be honest…life is hard.  Relationships are hard, work is hard, expectations are hard, even my relationship with God is hard.  Where does courage come in?  Everywhere.

Pastor Craig recently did a message that was so simple and so profound.   He said “we need to show up everyday, on time, with the right attitude and do our best.”  How does courage apply to this?

Pick one of those and tell me where it isn’t a challenge.  You might say I have that one perfected.  Fair enough but then you throw the rest of the world into it.  For example, I have a strong ethic about being on time.  I left a workout early so I could make an early meeting last week.  I promptly got into Tampa morning traffic backed up due to an accident.  Once I cleared the accident, I got behind three vehicles on a three lane highway that all felt compelled to go the speed limit.  Except for the last one, who was turning into my neighborhood…they wanted to go a comfortable 10 mph under the speed limit.  Being that we have two entrances, I went past that entrance and when I turned into the second one, was met promptly with a school bus picking up students.  And yes, the last pickup is in front of my house.  I was late, frustrated and not in a time frame to discuss the meeting’s topics.

 

 

 

“Here is another tissue…can I get you anything else.”

Kristin is sick.  Not a cough…she is flat-out sick.  After hitting some amazing highs with the GFC Fearless Women’s conference, she came down from that euphoria into a flu bug, cold symptoms that knocked her out of the office, family and life in general for a week.

I love her more today than ever before.

I cannot imagine what it is like to be a pastor’s wife.  I am going to speak from my point of view knowing that this isn’t true for all pastors.  This is us.  She will go to church knowing that I will rarely sit by her during service because of my responsibilities.  She knows that if she sees me, I am rarely alone because I am serving others.  We will not have any great discussions about the sermons on the way home because we rarely drive together to church. Ironically, since she has come on staff, these statements are true of her as well.  She is a busy lady when she is at services for all the same reasons.

It is special to watch my wife minister.  She is a great speaker from the stage and shares tremendous insights into God’s word or leading others.  She is strong and doesn’t back down from challenging topics.  Yet, when she shares she usually laughs.  This is my favorite.  She laughs not in goofiness – it usually on herself.  It’s a great laugh.  Men tell me she is easy for them to listen to.  Lisa Bevere termed it “a male brain in a female body.”  Kristin is like that too.  She doesn’t use a lot of words and gets to the point.  Ironically, when we disagree, this is not as pleasant as you would think.  I watch her on stage and she makes me smile.

To my children and grandchildren, she is Big Momma.  If you seen her, she ain’t that big…she is actually petite.  But she liked that name and it has stuck.  One of the biggest gifts she gave our kids is her ability to work through life situations with them.  When they were younger with lots of questions, it was answered with “Do you want the simple answer or the messy answer?”  As they got older, it was helping them to see blind spots and navigate challenges.  Today, she is a resource of wisdom, understanding and discernment.  To our grandkids, she is energy, “let’s do this,” and the food queen.  (Got a picky eaters and chow hounds.)  She will wrestle them to the floor, blow bubbles endlessly, read to them and snuggle them to bed.

We will celebrate 29 years of marriage in May.  We were so young, both of us twenty when we married.  She is still confident and vibrant.  Where I will train for months for a race, she will train for six weeks for a half marathon with the Iron Sharpeners.  She loves going to New York once a year with one of our girls, family or friends.  She has learned how to navigate the city like a native and keeps everyone moving to all the sites and shows.  But the one thing she does every day that means the world to me is that she stops her busy schedule with all the demands and sits….With me…On our couch…And we talk.  She lets me pour out my challenges and victories.  She listens and gives great insights.  And she smiles.

That is my wife.

 

“Ok, Camera 2…let’s push in and focus.”

My wife told me that we needed men to volunteer for the GFC Fearless Conference so the ladies could attend and enjoy the conference.  I loved the idea.  Led by Bryan Singleton and Chris Ogboke, this group of men was amazing – smiling, helping and serving.

I signed up and was put on the tech team.  I figured they would put me on some item that was “remote” – stay here, don’t touch and don’t break anything.  To my wonder they put me on Camera 2.  In football, QB 1 means you are the starting quarterback.  At GFC, Camera 2 is the one who is dead center and actively follows the person on stage.  I was taken back at first but then said, “You can do this.”

I was impressed when I read as a young man that former governor of Florida, Bob Graham, would go out and work a job found in Florida.  It became known as “work days.”  He was short order cook, bellhop, social worker, and plumber.  I have tried doing that at GFC.  I have been on the traffic team, been a camera man on stage, the worship team (they were desperate), moderated our live stream service and taught in Clubhouse.  I am tremendously grateful for all who serve at GFC and doing some of those tasks help me understand the importance of those who serve.

I went to my “training” the Tuesday before the Fearless conference.  Glenda, the veteran camera person who mans Camera 2 each weekend, had two pieces of advice.  One was don’t hold the handles tightly and….don’t screw it up.  With that in mind, I took the two-hour run though as my crash course.  I learned to flow with the movement of the stage.  I developed a little confidence in zooming in/out and focusing at the same time.  I also learned that my headset had a one way microphone.  The producers could talk to me, but I couldn’t talk back to them…I think that one was intentional.

Here are a couple of nuggets from manning Camera 2 at the conference:

• I love our tech team.  They are fun, amazing, awesome and they go out of their way to make you feel part of the team.  I laughed so much and thoroughly enjoyed it.
• It takes a lot of communication to pull of a video service. Even with all the laughs, when it is “Go” time, the job of producing an excellent service requires a lot of people, willing to serve at a high level and not be seen.
• You can learn a lot when you listen to “The Voice” in your ears and just do what he says without talking back.  (Great principle in our relationship with God)
• Every motion is big…the smallest twitch shows up on camera.  God sees all we do and he loves us through it.
• Focus means different things to different people.  Creative people like the in/out effect of focus while “nuts and bolts” people like myself tend to like always in focus.
• Most important one – Have Fun!  I would do it again in a second…if you aren’t enjoying something you will never bring your best.  Joy flows inside out.

Ironically, I watched our weekend services a lot differently after the conference. I could imagine the voices of the producers coaching and leading our video team.  When something looked out of focus, I was a little more tolerant of what it takes to remedy that. And I smiled…what a team…what a team.

On Sunday, I took a left instead of a right.

I didn’t go to the GFC Van Dyke Campus.  I went to our Temple Terrace Campus and our Ybor Campus.  What a day!

I got on the Temple Terrace Campus early.  Already, people were milling around putting the final touches on morning services – signage, food services, children’s areas, greeting zones and the music team – all prepping for a full morning.  Met with Pastor Roy Taylor, who made his final notes, then headed out to be with all the volunteers.

From then on, it was game on and the teams didn’t disappoint.  It was so exciting to see people using their gifts and talents to serve others.  Smiles, hugs, “Welcomes!,” strong worship, great teaching in children’s ministries, all revolving around a great message by our Lead Pastor, Craig Altman. After service, people hung out, talking and laughing, some prayed with one another and slowed down to enjoy “community.”

I jumped in my car and was at our Ybor Campus in twenty minutes.  With is freshly finished outside mural, or Ybor Campus meets at this former Boys and Girls Club which is the GFC Dream Center.  I walked in and was taken back – the physical transformation on the inside was truly amazing.  Fresh flooring, walls, cabinets signage, lighting, sound, staging, children’s areas and AC in the gym has made this place into a great facility. Hats off to all who help on our Construction and Maintenance teams – well done!

Again, people greeting, welcoming and creating an inviting environment.  Pastor Ralph Johnson and our Dream Center Executive Director, Chris Davis, were out amongst everyone.  Along with Trish, Mick, Angela, Tyler and Sarah so many people helping us to reach this area of Tampa.

I met Mrs. Starks.  Her three teenage boys serve in different ministries and she is on our Blue Shirt team.  How great is that – a family serving together in their local church!  After another great service, I was on my way home…tired but excited.

When GFC started this vision – one church, many locations – we had to ask, “Will this work?”  I am here to say emphatically, “Yes!  This is working!”

One last story from this morning.  As the Ybor team finished the last worship song, I teared up.  Our campuses are quite unique.  Different buildings, set ups, geographic areas, strategies, even demographics of people.  But, one thing we do well.  We want to reach people in Tampa with a genuine love for God so they can grow in their own relationship with God.  Today, we did that…and tomorrow, we get up and begin the journey to do it again next week.

 

Each week, I try to think of a nugget that stood out from all the conversations, circumstances and actions that I encountered.  This one is an “oldie but goodie” – Ask Questions.

Here are a couple of phrases that I hear on occasion:

• “I just got back from the doctor and he said…”
• “This person is doing this and I am so frustrated…”
• “My spouse and I are not on the same page and I am done…”
• “What do you think…”

Through the course of a week, I am inundated with people, situations and actions that require a response from me.  (Some don’t and I have learned good boundaries.)  For those that do, I have learned the power of a good question.  For this reason, I usually don’t know the answer until I get more information.  

I received a call this week from someone who was going to call a friend who was diagnosed with a terrible condition.  It is life changing.  He wasn’t sure how to call him and bring the Lord into it.  I shared with him you can always bring the Lord into it but you won’t know what avenue until you ask some questions.  Are they mad? Afraid? Angry? Concerned for their family? Worried about the finances?  Wondering where is God in all of this?  Is He real?  How can you minister to someone when you don’t know where they are at mentally, emotionally, physically or even spiritually?

The principle of asking questions works pretty much in all situations we encounter.  I recognize that some are straight forward.  Yet, in dealing with people, the more you can ask questions, you are giving them the opportunity to unveil more of what they think.  It can be personal, an attitude they have, situations they have encountered in the past, their rationale…it opens the door for you to understand them a little more.  I have seen it work in counseling, business, leadership, relationship building and even learning someone’s story.

What stops people from asking questions?  Here is a shocker…we think we know the answer already.  Sometimes this is true.  However, I have found that by asking at least a couple of questions, I have a better understanding of the situation or person.  Usually, he will feel that they have been heard.  I will usually soften my tendency to be critical.  If I think I “got it,” then I am missing the opportunity to add these benefits to my involvement.

Here’s a question for you…What is going to stop you from doing this today?

 

 

 

 

 

In less than nine months, I am turning 50 years old.

Where most people look at this milestone  with dread, I am actually looking at the days leading up to my birthday as preparation for the launch of the rest of my life.  I am not down – I am energized to see what happens next.  Here are some of the things I am doing to prepare for the next chapter.

I want to know God more.  I have learned so much about God over the years.  I want to build a deeper relationship with Him.  I am learning so much from praying and spending time listening to God.  Men in my small groups share what God’s words means to them and I grow.  I hear stories of people’s lives with God and I am humbled how He works.

I want to be healthy and strong.  I used to say that I want to be physically able to do whatever my kids wanted to do.  I have swam, biked, run, played basketball, done Crossfit, skied, hiked, lifted, pushed and pulled in keeping up with three active kids (and one amazing wife.)  Now, I want to be able to do whatever my grandkids want to do.  Easy now – we go to the playground, wrestle and go for wagon rides.  They are growing up…I know that round two of the list above is coming soon. I want to do it all.

I want to be a vibrant pastor and leader.  When I became a pastor at 22, I never dreamed of the journey that has led me to so many people and Grace Family Church.  I feel like I am coming into my best years leading with wisdom, maturity, character and integrity.  I have paid the price to gain these things.  A foundational lesson – Leadership comes with a price tag…it is going to cost you.  Yet, I still want to have that sense of wonder and humility.  Leading people in their relationship with God is humbling.  Empowering others is so fulfilling and exciting when you see someone else “hit the Home Run!”  There are so many people to reach with God’s love –lots of ministry to be done.

I want to walk out peace, contentment and fun.  In my early years, I strove to achieve and it cost me.   In the last ten years, I have found peace with how God sees me and who I am to Him.  I am content to do the best I can at something, realizing that the results might not always meet my expectations.  Finally, I am having more fun than ever before.  Not by doing the Big things, but by the little things.  I am amazed at how much I love being a grandparent.  I really enjoy walking a round of golf by myself.  I still love it when Kristin laughs at something.  We both enjoy exploring places when we travel.  I love writing stories, thoughts, quotes and leadership lessons – articulating what you feel causes me to grow.   A day sitting on the beach, reading a book, and a bag of trail mix…gold!

I don’t have much time…I will turn 50 in a matter of months.  As the phrase goes – “So much to do, so little time.” Let the countdown begin!

 

 

 

One of my joys during the Christmas season was doing the Candlelight Services at GFC.  There is something about the quieter worship, communion and lighting candles across the sanctuary that really touches my heart every year.  It never gets old.

I have enjoyed the pleasure of sharing the message over the last few years.  It is tough because it is the same story each year and a tale that everyone has heard since they were young children. Yet, each year, the Lord has shown me different aspects of the story to apply to our lives.  This year was different…he showed me that the Christmas story is my story.  And it is a story of hope in 2017.

The Christmas event unfolds after 400 years of silence.  No recorded words or actions about God.  Can you imagine waiting for 400 years?  Try waiting for something for 4 years, 4 months, even 4 hours?  Do you feel silence from God?  I can relate.  I have dreams and desires that God has given me.  I have waited for some over a long period of time.  And what do I hear now…silence.  Hebrews 13:5 says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” My hope in 2017 is that in the silence, I will know that God is with me, for me and has my best in his plan.

Mary was asked to do something tremendously big.  It was going to be all in and it didn’t make a lot of sense.  It was going to cost her more than just a life event…it was going to cost her life and identity.  I can relate to that.  When my role at GFC changed from speaking on weekends to an Executive Pastor behind the scenes a few years ago, it was tough.  I had to lose my identity and what I believed was one of the things that validated me as a pastor.  It was one of the BEST decisions P. Craig ever made at GFC.  I am using all of the gifts, talents and abilities to help grow GFC like never before.  My hope in 2017 is that when God asks me to humble myself and do something He asks, that He will do something beyond my comprehension.

Joseph was in control of a bad situation.  His fiance is preganant, not even by him but “by the Holy Spirit.” He had it all under control – quiet divorce, Mary goes away…moving on with my life.  Then, God blew up his plan…no more control.  I can relate to that.  When he was born, I had plans for my son Casey to be an athlete.  When he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at 18 months, God blew up my plan.  After picking up drum sticks at the age of 8, singing in a band in Jr. High, God unveiled his plan.  Casey was called to lead worship and pastor people.  I am so glad that God’s plan is bigger than my plan.  My hope in 2017 is that God will continue to work His plan for my life and where I am out of control, He is in control.

The shepherds were the picture of broken relationship.  They were the outcasts of society – not valued by others, cast offs, and the last people on the societal totem pole.  Yet, these are the one who God shared the message of Christ’s arrival after 400 years.  What is the first thing they do – overcome all the obstacles of society, go and see the child and tell others all about it.  I can relate to that.  Relationships are hard.  It is so easy to take offense, reject and stay bitter.  It is easier to do that instead of doing the hard work – forgive, extend grace and lose “the right” to be hurt.  I learned in 2016, that I would rather work hard at relationships and continue to love others. My hope in 2017 is that I forgive and love others more so I can enjoy all the relationships I have in my life. 

Final character – Herod.  He was a terrible leader – jealous, angry, violent and egocentric.  He would go out of his way to eliminate anyone who take away from his power or title.  He killed many people in his family and  those close to him just to maintain his seat on the throne.  I can relate to that…the throne.  I love God and asked Jesus to be Lord of my life a long time ago – He sits on the ultimate throne.  Yet, there are many little thrones that I hold so close.  I will do things I don’t want to just to keep on top of those thrones.  My hope in 2017 is that I will surrender all the thrones in my life to the one who sits on the ultimate throne.

2017 is here…A new start to a new year.  My Hope is in Him.

 

For six weeks, I complained about jury duty.

I received the letter from the District Court telling me to report.  It was the first time I received a summons that I wasn’t scheduled to be flying out-of-town.  As the day drew near, I began to settle in to the idea that Monday was going to be a first.

I got there early enough to be one of the first twenty people in the waiting room.  All of the bailiffs and administrative assistants were pleasant and answered each person’s questions. (For the umpteenth time for sure).  The room continued to fill up…and then even more.  It ended when over three hundred of us filled the room.

Then the judge stepped to the mic…

Southwest Airlines is known for its creative and funny preflight speeches.  The Judge was up to the task.  He made us laugh with his quizzes about his name, who the Lieutenant Governor was and different quotes from actual lawyers that were better than tv.  He covered many ways jurors cause mistrial and prevailed on us to steer clear of them.

But his second quiz, struck my thoughts.  He asked, “Who knows the last three words of the Pledge of Allegiance?”  While we all recited it in our mind, he answered, “Justice for all.”  He continued by saying, “That is why you are here.  Two of the rights the U. S. Constitution provides for you is your ability to vote and for a fair trial.”

All that complaining seemed very hollow in my mind.  Like everyone else, my schedule is busy, packed…a wash of meetings, decisions and responsibilities.  While I mulled this over, the judge said something else that struck me.  He said, “Around our nation, there are cases that are postponed because they cannot seat a jury due to lack of people showing up for jury duty.” He said that was not the case in Tampa.  They haven’t postponed a trial yet because of that.”

I didn’t make it on a jury.  I was the first name called when they called for the first jury pool.  But both times my name was called, I was recused due to the days of the trials conflicting with my GFC  ManCamp commitment as a pastor.

It wasn’t convenient.  It challenged my schedule.  It interrupted my responsibilities.

But it also caused me to be grateful for those who crafted our Constitution and our legal system.  Their strength is the essence of every person doing their part, even if it means “just showing up.”  It’s foundation provides for liberty and justice for all.

God Bless America.

 

I was recently asked what the top three books were in my life. I thought it was a great question.

 

What a lot of you might not know is that I actually majored in English Education in college after deciding to go into ministry. I have read a lot of books. Another confession – I speed-read. Do I miss a few words yes; do I miss concepts – no. I believe that reading is one of the keys to leading. Even when you don’t agree with a book’s principles, it causes you to think.

 

Disclaimer: I am going to exclude the Bible from this list. It is a given that I love the Bible and it is the most important book in my life. I could write a lot here but for the sake of time…it is at the very top.

 

Here is my top three:

 

1.    Boundaries: When to say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I read this book early into my ministry in Tampa in my early 30’s. This book basically changed my life. As someone who struggled with insecurity and people pleasing growing up, this showed me that it is ok to say “no” to all the requests and demands of life and others. Here is my bottom line that I took from the book:

 

God has given me gifts, talents and abilities that I am to grow, develop and protect. I am the gatekeeper to all those as others come into my life. Some people I will open the gate to and to others I will keep it shut. It isn’t arrogance, indifference or lack of valuing others. Instead, it is valuing God and all that he has given me.

 

When I began this approach to people, it made me be more real with people. Like I said, this book was a life changer.

2. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High – Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Kerry Patterson.

 

One of the members of Grace did a presentation to all the pastors on this book and it gave us a phrase that has changed our culture and my own personal life.   The phrase is very simple – “I am going to have a crucial conversation with you.” When someone says that at work or at home, I know it is going to be a tough conversation. But in both places, we have them. We hit things straight on and discuss, challenge and communicate for a better result.   We are not at 100% in either location. Yet, the more crucial conversations we have, the less that is left “unsaid.” Things left in the dark have power; when things are said, those involved have power to bring clarification, make changes and see results.

 

3. My Life Memoirs by John Bonham

John Bonham was my great grandfather. He wrote his memoirs down before he passed. It was a straight account of his life and it’s milestones. He accomplished some amazing things:

• He started a bank.
• He was a judge for harness racing on the county circuit.
• He created a moving starting gate for the same races.
• He developed an inventory system for a Kroger’s distribution center.
• And my favorite, he was offered a job and was told to fill in his salary on a blank paycheck. He wrote a number that was reasonable and what the job was worth and not a penny more.

 

I learned how he built his life on character, integrity, honesty and hard work. I see those qualities in my dad and my brothers. I try to live that way.

 

These three books have not only impacted my life, they transformed it. They challenged me to go to places I didn’t want to go at times. They called me to go grow. What books have caused you to grow?

 

 

 

It had been a great interview.  The pastoral candidate had made it all the way through the selection process and the final interview was wrapping up.  Everyone around the table was collecting their papers, tucking things away and one of the elders of the church asked kind of off the cuff…

“One more question.  What do you do for fun?”

The candidate smiled and said, “Well…I, uh…”  The smile began to fade.  “I really  enjoy….um,…I do….  He looked off and said, “I am not sure what I do for fun.”  The questioner said, “Ok, I was just wondering.”  The candidate left and the group sat down to debrief.

We discussed his qualifications, his strong gifting and abilities, answers to the questions that were positive and weak.  Then, that same elder says, “I wouldn’t hire him.  He couldn’t answer what he does for fun.  If that is the case, he is a workaholic and you don’t want that person on your team.”

We didn’t hire him.

I recently shared that story with a church staff who visited Grace Family to illustrate two  strong principles in our culture.

1. There should be an element of fun in doing your work at GFC.  If you don’t get up with a sense of anticipation and joy that “this is what I get to do,” then you need to ask yourself if you are supposed to be here.  I know there are times we dread doing certain tasks, having conversations, and tough decisions.  Yet, if that is an overriding theme on a continual basis, then you want to reevaluate your work.  For me, I want to know I am making an impact in the lives of people to grow a step closer to God.  That is fun for me.

2.  You should have fun when you are away from GFC.  Working at the church is an          amazing blessing, but it is still work.  I have always said that the easiest hour of the week is when we do our weekend services.  It is the hours of preparation, communication and ministering to people during the week that sets up the weekend to be a “high point” experience.  So have fun – do things that refresh you.  Take all your PTO days and enjoy life with your family and loved ones.  For me, I love my workouts throughout the week.  I love spending time with my grandkids. (Another form of working out – they are quick!)  I took up golf recently and my prayer life has increased.  I love traveling with Kristin to new cities and exploring all they offer.  And when I am tired, I love reading.  Those are ways to keep my energy levels up and it works.

“What do you do for fun?”  

(The question has been asked in every interview I am in since that night.)