For six weeks, I complained about jury duty.

I received the letter from the District Court telling me to report.  It was the first time I received a summons that I wasn’t scheduled to be flying out-of-town.  As the day drew near, I began to settle in to the idea that Monday was going to be a first.

I got there early enough to be one of the first twenty people in the waiting room.  All of the bailiffs and administrative assistants were pleasant and answered each person’s questions. (For the umpteenth time for sure).  The room continued to fill up…and then even more.  It ended when over three hundred of us filled the room.

Then the judge stepped to the mic…

Southwest Airlines is known for its creative and funny preflight speeches.  The Judge was up to the task.  He made us laugh with his quizzes about his name, who the Lieutenant Governor was and different quotes from actual lawyers that were better than tv.  He covered many ways jurors cause mistrial and prevailed on us to steer clear of them.

But his second quiz, struck my thoughts.  He asked, “Who knows the last three words of the Pledge of Allegiance?”  While we all recited it in our mind, he answered, “Justice for all.”  He continued by saying, “That is why you are here.  Two of the rights the U. S. Constitution provides for you is your ability to vote and for a fair trial.”

All that complaining seemed very hollow in my mind.  Like everyone else, my schedule is busy, packed…a wash of meetings, decisions and responsibilities.  While I mulled this over, the judge said something else that struck me.  He said, “Around our nation, there are cases that are postponed because they cannot seat a jury due to lack of people showing up for jury duty.” He said that was not the case in Tampa.  They haven’t postponed a trial yet because of that.”

I didn’t make it on a jury.  I was the first name called when they called for the first jury pool.  But both times my name was called, I was recused due to the days of the trials conflicting with my GFC  ManCamp commitment as a pastor.

It wasn’t convenient.  It challenged my schedule.  It interrupted my responsibilities.

But it also caused me to be grateful for those who crafted our Constitution and our legal system.  Their strength is the essence of every person doing their part, even if it means “just showing up.”  It’s foundation provides for liberty and justice for all.

God Bless America.

 

I was recently asked what the top three books were in my life. I thought it was a great question.

 

What a lot of you might not know is that I actually majored in English Education in college after deciding to go into ministry. I have read a lot of books. Another confession – I speed-read. Do I miss a few words yes; do I miss concepts – no. I believe that reading is one of the keys to leading. Even when you don’t agree with a book’s principles, it causes you to think.

 

Disclaimer: I am going to exclude the Bible from this list. It is a given that I love the Bible and it is the most important book in my life. I could write a lot here but for the sake of time…it is at the very top.

 

Here is my top three:

 

1.    Boundaries: When to say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I read this book early into my ministry in Tampa in my early 30’s. This book basically changed my life. As someone who struggled with insecurity and people pleasing growing up, this showed me that it is ok to say “no” to all the requests and demands of life and others. Here is my bottom line that I took from the book:

 

God has given me gifts, talents and abilities that I am to grow, develop and protect. I am the gatekeeper to all those as others come into my life. Some people I will open the gate to and to others I will keep it shut. It isn’t arrogance, indifference or lack of valuing others. Instead, it is valuing God and all that he has given me.

 

When I began this approach to people, it made me be more real with people. Like I said, this book was a life changer.

2. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High – Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Kerry Patterson.

 

One of the members of Grace did a presentation to all the pastors on this book and it gave us a phrase that has changed our culture and my own personal life.   The phrase is very simple – “I am going to have a crucial conversation with you.” When someone says that at work or at home, I know it is going to be a tough conversation. But in both places, we have them. We hit things straight on and discuss, challenge and communicate for a better result.   We are not at 100% in either location. Yet, the more crucial conversations we have, the less that is left “unsaid.” Things left in the dark have power; when things are said, those involved have power to bring clarification, make changes and see results.

 

3. My Life Memoirs by John Bonham

John Bonham was my great grandfather. He wrote his memoirs down before he passed. It was a straight account of his life and it’s milestones. He accomplished some amazing things:

• He started a bank.
• He was a judge for harness racing on the county circuit.
• He created a moving starting gate for the same races.
• He developed an inventory system for a Kroger’s distribution center.
• And my favorite, he was offered a job and was told to fill in his salary on a blank paycheck. He wrote a number that was reasonable and what the job was worth and not a penny more.

 

I learned how he built his life on character, integrity, honesty and hard work. I see those qualities in my dad and my brothers. I try to live that way.

 

These three books have not only impacted my life, they transformed it. They challenged me to go to places I didn’t want to go at times. They called me to go grow. What books have caused you to grow?

 

 

 

It had been a great interview.  The pastoral candidate had made it all the way through the selection process and the final interview was wrapping up.  Everyone around the table was collecting their papers, tucking things away and one of the elders of the church asked kind of off the cuff…

“One more question.  What do you do for fun?”

The candidate smiled and said, “Well…I, uh…”  The smile began to fade.  “I really  enjoy….um,…I do….  He looked off and said, “I am not sure what I do for fun.”  The questioner said, “Ok, I was just wondering.”  The candidate left and the group sat down to debrief.

We discussed his qualifications, his strong gifting and abilities, answers to the questions that were positive and weak.  Then, that same elder says, “I wouldn’t hire him.  He couldn’t answer what he does for fun.  If that is the case, he is a workaholic and you don’t want that person on your team.”

We didn’t hire him.

I recently shared that story with a church staff who visited Grace Family to illustrate two  strong principles in our culture.

1. There should be an element of fun in doing your work at GFC.  If you don’t get up with a sense of anticipation and joy that “this is what I get to do,” then you need to ask yourself if you are supposed to be here.  I know there are times we dread doing certain tasks, having conversations, and tough decisions.  Yet, if that is an overriding theme on a continual basis, then you want to reevaluate your work.  For me, I want to know I am making an impact in the lives of people to grow a step closer to God.  That is fun for me.

2.  You should have fun when you are away from GFC.  Working at the church is an          amazing blessing, but it is still work.  I have always said that the easiest hour of the week is when we do our weekend services.  It is the hours of preparation, communication and ministering to people during the week that sets up the weekend to be a “high point” experience.  So have fun – do things that refresh you.  Take all your PTO days and enjoy life with your family and loved ones.  For me, I love my workouts throughout the week.  I love spending time with my grandkids. (Another form of working out – they are quick!)  I took up golf recently and my prayer life has increased.  I love traveling with Kristin to new cities and exploring all they offer.  And when I am tired, I love reading.  Those are ways to keep my energy levels up and it works.

“What do you do for fun?”  

(The question has been asked in every interview I am in since that night.)

 

 

 

I turned 49 years old on September 1st!    This is me and my grandson enjoying the warmth of the fire coming off of my Birthday Pie!

In honor of my birthday, I am writing observations from the last year of my life. (in no particular order or signifigance…this is me just winging it.)

• It is harder for me to get up at 4am, so I am now getting up at 5am.
• I still love working out…although my warm up is a lot longer.
• I will not run a race again…too many calf muscle pulls.  I have weird calves.
• I love the Bible in a small amount of verses.
• I really love asking questions to hear more about a person’s story.
• I do not love mucous coming out of a child’s nose…sorry, just don’t like anything about it…
• I don’t make as many lists as I used to and am amazed that much of the stuff still gets done or really wasn’t that important.
• My grandkids make me smile and laugh…they are a hoot even in the way they talk, walk or make sounds.
• I am amazed at the next generation of leaders who are coming up in the church.
• Reading for leading never stops or becomes unproductive.
• I am a better listener than I am talker…I learn so much more when I listen.
• Worship continues to be a rich experience with God.  For all my friends who say it isn’t their thing, I hope one day you will sing a song to God and feel his presence.
• I am learning the importance of sitting still and just being quiet before God.
• I still smile when Kristin comes in the room.
• I am learning what it means to for a child to leave their father and mother and build their own families…and it is awesome.  They are amazing.
• I have learned that it is ok to weep for things that people will never see.
• I have learned that whoever wins the big game doesn’t really change my life that much.
• I am fascinated by and a student of the words “empowering others.”
• I will probably never make it under two hundred pounds.  I like eating more than dieting, enjoying a meal with others rather being “that person,” and I can only do my best.
• I still can watch rain, sunsets and children laughing and think how Big God really is.
• I am still not very good with building things but I can am a great helper.
• I love God, even when there are disappointments, I know His path for us is good, true and based on a purpose and love He has for us.
• I love my family.  They are way ahead of me at their stage of life but I wouldn’t miss every victory and challenge.  They impact me so much.
• I am more grateful than ever before for those who have gone before me.  Those people who paved the way for me to do what I do today.  Some I know personally, some I know from afar…thank you for allowing me to ride on the shoulders of your labor.
• I have a greater appreciation for the word “serving.”  Whether military, first responders, or law enforcement, I am humbled at the sacrifice it takes to preserve the rights of citizens of this great country.
• I also have a great appreciation for those who volunteer at Grace Family Church. Every week, hundreds of people give of their time, energy and talents so others can grow in their relationship with God.  You might not think someone saw you in action, but there is a good chance I did….thank you.
• I am humbled how I am more in love with my wife than the day I married her.
• Finally, I am not fifty, over the hill, on the other side of life…I am just getting started.  This new year is going to be the best.

 

 

 

Every year, my family takes a trip to the beach for a week.  It is a great time.  This year, I decided that I wasn’t going to workout at all.  Usually, I will run or do some bodyweight exercises.  Not this year.  I decided to rest my body and the results were tremendous.  (Another post, another time about rest.)  When I got back to the gym, my first workout was rough.  Resting felt great, but I knew it was time to get back in the game. So, once again…I started.

 

Today is the final installment of my series, “The Hardest Assignment.” Today is the day you get going. If you read the last few weeks, thank you for the compliment of your time and attention. Like me, you can’t let it just end there…in fact, you are just beginning.

 

Here are some principles to get you going:

 

1. Do the things that only you can do.

The sooner you can determine the things that only you can do, the faster you ministry will begin to take flight. There are things you love and dislike doing. You have to cut the ease of doing both type of tasks and really boil it down to essentials. When you are doing those, your ministry will pick up momentum. Others will take things you deemed transferable and run with their strengths. It’s a win-win!

      2.  Determine who is the best suited under your leadership to do the other things.

You have to lead. You have to look through your roster of leaders and decide what to allocate to each of them. This isn’t about personality or likeability. It is about putting the right people, with the right responsibilities in the best position to create the maximum results. Don’t try to be popular – see the win and put your best team together.

       3.  Discuss areas of growth and leadership with those you want to give        responsibilities.

One of my nuggets over the years is “you must be a student of those you lead.” It is the leader’s responsibility to study, observe and leverage the gifts, aptitudes, attitudes and personality of those they lead. Communication with each of your leaders is tremendously important. You must find their “communication style and language” and sync it with yours. Many people object and say, “I am the leader and they should do that to me.” Bottom line, you said it…you are the leader.

 

      4.  Develop a plan.

I worked at UPS when I was in college. Here is the basic process of learning how my supervisor taught me to load three delivery trucks with about 300 hundred addresses each.

1. Me doing – You watch.
2. Me doing – You doing.
3. Me watch – You doing.
4. You doing.

Sounds simple. It is. You as the leader determine the timing and pace.

 

     5.  Dive In!

 

You gotta take the first step. You will have mistakes and bumps along the way. And you will have some fantastic wins and mountain top experiences. I don’t have it all figured out myself. What energizes me is that my realm of ministry is reaching more people than ever!

 

Are you ready for the hardest assignment?  Take the next step!

 

 

When was the last time you heard about someone going to college because of a cow? Today is that day. My grandfather bought each of his grandkids a calf when we were very little. Those cattle were raised, sold and we each ended up with a college fund. Over the years, I added to it by mowing yards, cleaning pools, washing cars. Along with a scholarship, I was able to come out of college debt free. I know the costs and benefits of working and saving for a goal.

 

Giving away your leadership has both costs and benefits. The list is not exhaustive but let me give you the Big Three on both sides of the ledger.

 

The Costs:

 

1. Your Security.  It’s Not about You.

 

We all have heard Rick Warren’s sobering first line from his book, “The Purpose Driven Life.” Basically, you are going to make a couple of decisions. You have to decide if it is about God’s agenda or your agenda.   They should be synonymous but sometimes we struggle. Then, you have to answer, “Is your faith in God or in your own gifts, talents, abilities?” This will challenge your concept of trust.

     2.  Your Messiah Complex. Yep, you have one.

Eventually, you have to realize that you are not the answer for everything and everyone. We love to be the one people run to but how many can you effectively lead? Jesus did ministry with twelve men he poured into daily and he changed the world. Find your number to pour into and begin changing your world today.

 

     3.  Your Perfect World. The World of “Untouchables.”

In your world, if everything is done your way, with your ideas, your decisions and your actions – it would be perfect – exactly what you want. A transitional leader creates a “swing the bat” environment and an “OK to Fail” Zone.  We have never let someone go at GFC because of they failed at an idea.  Everything can be improved and also has a shelf life…nothing is an “untouchable.” Love this quote by George Patton – “If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you will be amazed at the results.”

 

The Benefits of Being a Transitional Leader:

 

1. Prolong Your Ministry / Shared Responsibility and Perspective.

 

When you truly are giving your ministry and leadership away, you are actually giving life and vitality to your ministry. With margin and less direct oversight, you get to move into areas that are pertinent to your gifting. It also allows you to get a stronger perspective on the overall picture and health of your ministry.

 

     2.  Continued Relevance to Culture /Younger in Leadership.

One of my biggest realizations in the last few years is my inability to stay cultural relevant and young in my mindset. Alone, it is a struggle. Yet, when I invest in the next generation of leaders, I am inundated with fresh ideas and perspective. I learn so much about the future needs of people as we lead these young leaders into the next generation of local church work. It is challenging and exciting but it is well worth the journey.

 

     3.  Relationship with those Above, Below and your Peers.

It is really amazing when you realize that you are leading up, below and those on the same level. It is an attitude of empowerment and giving that permeates other areas of ministry and leadership. It must begin with you if you want others to emulate this across the ministry. Everyone is valued, contributing, recognized and valued.

 

Giving away ministry costs. Those investments develop great returns. The X factor is you. Are you willing to pay the price so others can ascend the hill of ministry? Next week will be the last installment and will have practical steps for you to begin your transitional journey.

 

 

 

The drop of sweat ticked off my nose and dropped forever into the cold water filled with animals waiting to eat me…(dramatic music to complete the effect.)

 

Actually, I was in elementary school and two bullies picked on my little brother and I and were holding us over a bridge trying to force us to give them money. They were bigger and we were sunk. Ironically, I have been back to that bridge so many times growing up and as an adult. It is about four feet above the water and the river is perfect for inner tubing.

 

Why the reaction? Why the trepidation? Those two older, teenagers preyed on our weaknesses to try to get some extra money.  It didn’t turn out so good for them.

 

There are two Goliaths that attack every leader who is trying to give their leadership away to the next generation. They are mean, ugly and they don’t play fair. They prey on our weaknesses. Unfortunately, we all have them and these two can find the smallest crack and blow it up.  But, if we are secure in who we are in Christ, it won’t end so good for them as well.

 

The first Goliath is Fear. You start giving your leadership to the next leader and these taunts start popping up:

1. They will do it worse or better than you.

2. They will do it wrong or another way.

3.  They will misrepresent you or show you a new way.

4.  You will lose control.

Look at those statements. One or maybe even made your pulse quicken when you read it. You say on the outside “I am good.” Yet, you know beneath the surface that Goliath is “calling you out.”   Let me answer each one:

1. Your leadership will cover their shortcomings and you will celebrate their wins.
2. You will help them see their errors and learn when they take new paths.
3. You will give grace when you are misrepresented.
4. You will not lose control…you will begin to give it away. You never had it in the first place…control is a mirage.

 

The second Goliath is Pride. If you want to go toe to toe with a “Big Ugly,” pride is the one that will have you asking these questions:

1. What about all that I have done in the past?
2. Will people still see my significance?
3. Will I still be needed?
4. What will I do now?

Here are the answers to those questions:

1. You cannot live in the past and expect others to as well. Those are the foundation for today. Share those experiences as “building blocks” not “balls and chains.”
2. Your significance will change as the organization changes. Empowering others will actually increase your significance because you are deepening the bench for the organization.
3. Your involvement is more necessary than ever. Who will take the next generation of leaders forward if you don’t do it? You are the perfect person for the job.
4. You will have a place. Each group is different. God has a purpose for you that is bigger than your present job. Either He will keep you there or He will move you to the place He needs you next. Trust that God is BIG to do this.

Two very big and challenging giants: fear and pride. Hit them hard and straight on to start seeing victory against them. Next week, I will tell you what it is going to cost you to invest in the next generation of leaders and the benefits that will propel you forward.

 

 

 

 

 

Staring across the desk, I finally said, “I understand.”

 

I had just agreed to be “babysat” at the age of twenty-two.

 

My good friend, our church’s youth pastor, told me that in my first few months, all my work needed to be approved by him. It was my first job in ministry and I was an unproven leader and pastor. Looking back, I truly see the rationale. At the time, my ego and youthful enthusiasm took the hit.

 

Six weeks later, I had enough. Maybe it was ego…or self-confidence that led me to go back to the leadership and say, “Let me fly. If my work is not up to your expectations, you will have a reason to let me go. If it is exceeds your expectations (and it will exceed your expectations…), you will have an employee you can trust. They graciously lifted the burden of turning in all my work. I was still under my friend but he became an umbrella that covered me, not a “hawk” looking over my shoulder.

 

The tension of young or even new employees has been around forever. They have this passion and energy to get into the game and show you what they can do. That is why you hired them. Being a leader for a long time now, I get to be that umbrella for those I lead. It is a joy and a burden a leader must carry.

 

Over the years, I have developed a strong passion of developing the next generation of leaders. My goal is to empower as many as I can to carry on the work of the church and the Lord. To do this, I am focused on giving away six things to the upcoming leaders.

 

1. Power.  The ability to direct or influence others. This is crucial to their development. How are they going to get experience unless they are given the ability to actually lead? You as their leader are going to validate them and give them the green light to direct and influence others.

 

2. Authority.  You mean they actually are going to get to move people and assets? They can give orders? Yes…and it goes a long way when others see you obeying their direction. If they are the leader you think they are, you will see their leadership line up with your vision.

 

3. Responsibility.  This is actually fun. If they want power and authority, then they also get the “joy” of responsibility. Accountability starts at the top and it is a great lesson for them to grow in while in a safe environment under your tutelage.

 

4. Recognition.  I am a big believer in giving those I lead all the credit when something good happens. I look for ways to celebrate their wins. I have seen others take someone else’s spotlight – not cool.

 

5. Judgement.  A young leader needs to express their opinion. They need to be heard, validated and then given feedback. Everyone wants to put his or her “flavor” on the ministry. Let ‘em run!

 

6. Decisions.  Last week, I wrote that the leader determines the end result. You will find young leaders will find different paths than your own. But, they still will hit the goal. You will have to ask yourself – “Is it better, worse or just different.” The letting go of decisions are tough but you many be surprised at the fresh ideas.

 

Next week, I am going to tell you about the two Goliaths that stand in the way of you giving away your leadership.

 

 

My journey in leadership development started with a John Maxwell One Day Conference back in 1996. Pastor Craig and I spent a day being poured into and by the end of the day, two things happened. One, my eyes were opened to the importance of leadership and secondly, we bought 12 books to begin our leadership libraries.

Since the church was small, I put myself on a crash course study in leadership. Every week, I would go to lunch and read one of the books, filling numerous notebooks. When those books were finished, I began to search out more. To this day, I usually have one book in my active reading that is about personal leadership or development.

Dr. Hugh Arnold, who holds a Ph.D. from Yale University in organizational behavior, wrote that there are three things a leader cannot give away. I read his thoughts and I am taking his three principles and applying them to church leadership.

 

 

1. Vision. Basically, “Where are we going?” If you have ever been on a family vacation where the group is pulled in multiple ways, you can see how this can affect even the smallest ministry. Creating vision is hard work. In church leadership it requires prayer, time alone, an awareness of the environments and a great understanding of the people we serve. You will know your vision is on target and solid when your close advisors, (the ones who will give you honest feedback), hear your vision and in the end say, “That is exactly where we need to go!”

 

2. You will answer the question – “How will we get there?” A good leader will surround themselves with people of various talents and strengths. They should tap into those people to get the most input from each area to understand the “lay of the land” when enacting this plan. But then, the strategy comes back to the leader. They have got to decide the path to take and divide up the responsibilities. Ultimately, the entire strategy will reflect on them. Good or bad results, the leader will be the one who shoulders that burden.

 

3. Core Values. Final question – “How will we conduct ourselves?” I have been listening to a lot of podcasts lately and I am always intrigued to hear how a church leader describes their own church. None of the answers are wrong – it’s their church and culture. But, none of them have been the same.  That is what is so great about different groups – they get to decide how they are going to carry themselves, what they are known for and what will people remember about them. That goes directly back to the foundation laid out by the leader. If people under him do not embrace his core values in their actions, speech and thoughts, the organization will be sending a mixed message and confusing those attending. Consistency will bring excellence to the church and peace to those attending.

 

These principles apply no matter how big or small your group. The leader must keep these three responsibilities. Next week, I am going to share the six things that a leader can give away…I think some may surprise you.

If you are a leader, your hardest assignment is yet to come.  It is the assignment of handing the responsibility and role of your job to someone else.  Basically, you are going to give your job away.

As a leader, we are used to developing vision, making crucial decisions and developing strategies to accomplish the goals set before us.  It is hard work.  Yet, a true leader relishes the challenge.  We want to be in the game and have our hand on “throttle” as our team moves towards the finish line.

The last post, I shared about GFC’s journey as our Lead Pastor began to transition someone else into the weekend sermon responsibilities.  After  twenty-two years of ministry, someone else’s voice was going to carry a significant amount of clout from the pulpit.

We focus on the Lead Pastor position because it is high-profile – but every leader, at every level, faces a transition.  I can only imagine how small the percentage of people who start in one position and stay there a lifetime.  In fact, even in healthy situations, if a person is “climbing the ladder of success,” you are taking different roles and positions.  Which means, you are leaving roles and positions.  

One of my first roles at GFC was the Children’s Pastor.  To this day, I think it is so cool when a child knows that God loves them and he/she accepts Him as Savior.   As I took on new roles, the day came where I had to give that responsibility to someone else.  It  wasn’t easy.  We had a good foundation, values and principles but I knew that in stepping away, that leader had the right to make any changes he wanted.  I would walk by the rooms and think, “I wouldn’t do it that way.”  It wasn’t right or wrong; it was different.

Gratefully, we chose a wonderful leader to replace me.  He brought a younger, fresher way of ministering to children.  I watched him grow.  I oversaw him from an executive level and he continued to develop a new level of ministering to kids…until the day we asked him to take over the Junior High Ministry.

Which is an ongoing tension in leadership.  If you are a good leader, you will find opportunity to change positions and responsibilities.  If you are a great leader, those under your leadership will be asked to assume leadership roles and responsibilities.  It creates a healthy demand for new leadership. 

As you can see, transition never really ends.  Healthy organizations continue to develop the next generation of leaders and put them into place.  So, transition is always happening and it is happening at all levels.

The next few posts will talk about how to do this.  They are practical lessons for anyone who is a leader that wants to promote commitment and engagement from those they lead.  Plus, it is an application that will empower the next generation leaders under you to grow and reach their highest potential.

Next week:  The Three Things a Leader Cannot  Give Away.