I have been working on something in my leadership that has been challenging me quite a lot.  I have a lot of “energy” when it comes to intense situations.  My heart pounds faster, my mind goes into overdrive and I am ready to “go after” the solutions.  Lately, I have been trying to “slow myself down.”

When the GFC Wednesday Night Bible Study was in the book of James, Tony Dungy shared on James 1:19 NIV “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”  He nailed it and in the process gave me a great template for dealing with intense situations.

 Quick to Listen.  I will never learn something while I am talking.  When I share my own views, thoughts and feelings, it only reverberates what I already know.  I need to hear what others are thinking so I can get a better understanding of where they are coming from, any blind spots I may have or I may actually learn something.  One of the best ways to actively listen – ask questions.  By asking questions, I am inviting that person to share and I learn so much.  For those who feel like they need to be the expert, you will struggle going to new places if you feel like your ideas are the only good ones.

Slow to Speak.  This is a big one for me.  I am growing in my ability “not to interrupt.”  I used to listen to someone and when I heard something I wanted to comment on, I would jump in.  Now, I listen until the  end.  I find that when I do that, I get a better perspective on how to proceed.  By not jumping in too quickly, I save myself the extra efforts of back tracking or confusing the conversation.  And a quick secret tip.  I have found that in most group situations, when someone talks…they think that the exchange went better.  People want to feel valued and one of the ways to do that is to encourage them to share.

Slow to Anger.  I learned the power of forgiveness allows me to walk without  a lot of baggage.  I can point a finger at a lot of people (And they can at me too – I am far from perfect.)  What I have learned is that it isn’t productive or healthy for me.  I forgive and forget pretty quickly.  Do I continue that relationship as it was – most of the time it changes. Depending on the situation, I establish healthy boundaries in that relationship which allows me to think the best of them and move on. Honestly, as I get older, I realize that all of us are on a journey and have our own stuff to deal with it.  I am responsible for mine own faults and problems, not yours.

Next time you are in a “crucial conversation” or an intense situation, slow it down.  The results will amaze you.

What would be the first thing you would write about when you last post was two months and a day ago?  I thought about it for a while and I came up with the phrase “And so it begins…again.” (And thank you for all who asked about the blog…it means a lot that you enjoy it and cared whether it would continue.)

Mid August to today was one of the most amazing “rides of my life.”  Personally, Kristin and I are enjoying one of the busiest times in our family’s history.  The middle of August brought two pregnant daughters, Taylor and Katy.  Abigail was returning from her time in Cleveland and Omaha. Christopher and Taylor moved in with us after purchasing a home and remodeling it. September 19th brought us our beautiful grand daughter, Reese Dobson.  It is a tremendous gift to look around the waiting room and see your kids, the grandparents and others via phone celebrating such an arrival.  Reese went back to the hospital twice in the first two weeks to battle a virus/ fever.  It is humbling to be on the receiving end of the church loving on your family and praying through a stressful time.  Another big day occurred when I awoke to see a picture from Abby with a twisty tie on her finger, announcing she was getting married.  We love Casey K. and are very excited for the upcoming wedding.  Before the month’s end, Chloe and Ian left for a long trip to Korea to visit family and see some tremendous sights. October has moving forward with all of those great things while waiting for the arrival of our second grandson, Graham.  Casey and Katy are ready and excited to see this little guy. (And so are we!)

The last two months brought some great projects at Grace Family.  Two things in August was the introduction of the GFC Journey at the Van Dyke Campus and the preparation for the 40 Days of Community Small Groups.  I am so proud of our Small Group team and the Creative Team for all they accomplished in both of these endeavors.  Way to go everyone! Both are wins for GFC, took a tremendous amount of work and effort and revealed the true gifting and leadership a number of people.  September – November has me on my final project for the year.  It is an interesting journey that I will share more about in the future.

And so it begins…again.  I am ready to write some more.  After reading that, I don’t think you can fault me for taking a hiatus.  Did God show me anything during that time?  Did I get any new insights?  What did I learn?

Every season starts with a new day…and so it begins again.

My grandson, Jax, has a funny ritual when it comes time to go to bed.  He takes a bath, puts on his PJ’s and sits with his Mom or Dad drinking a bottle.  Then, one of them will say, “Jax, it’s time for bed.  Say goodnight to everyone.”  Jax gets up hugs everyone, including the dog.  As soon as hugs are done, he turns to his parents and begins to whine and fuss about going to bed.  On cue, he begins to cry.  He walks up the stairs to his crib, with his blankets and Nemo fussing all the way.  Once in his crib and after his prayers, they shut the door and he cries for about 15 seconds and goes to sleep.

I have now witnessed this phenomenon on countless nights and I have come to conclude that this is my same reaction when I am learning patience. I usually know that I am in the “thick of it” and waiting for an answer in an area of my life. I go through the routine of finding out all that I can about the topic. I talk with people about it and seek wisely counsel. And I am good for a while, content that I did all my “due diligence.” After a while, I get restless and I start to do things in my own strength to make it happen. Like Jax, when he goes to bed, I whine and complain and make a lot of noise in my prayers and time with God. I want him to know that I am not satisfied with how this is going. Then he reminds me that He’s got this and I wrap myself in that comfort and “go to sleep” and rest. This is not a “one night wonder.” It is a daily battle at times.

You get the picture. Waiting on the Lord is not easy. I have waited short time spans and long ones that I wondered “where is God and what in the world is he doing?” Jax is a great picture of what I need to do. He wakes up the next morning. When he does, he doesn’t resent his parents for putting him to bed. He doesn’t continue to whine and fuss. Instead, he wakes up with a new attitude and perspective. It’s a new day! That is what I should do. Instead of rueing the disappointment of an ongoing wait, I should look forward to what God has for me today. Who knows, this could be the day the prayer gets answered!

I preached this past weekend.  I was given the topic of Satan’s favorite lies. The series later changed to “Angel of Light” (the final two weeks are going to be awesome!), but my sermon remained centered on Satan’s lies.  It was such a great journey of studying God’s word, applying it to my own life and then crafting a message to share with the congregation.  I cannot preach what I have not applied to your own life.

Here are some of my observations from this recent message:

• Sermon prep on top of my regular responsibilities is tough.  You can’t just put things on pause to prepare, you have to find time.
• Some people outside of our staff really do see me as “the guy who stands at the stairs and greet.”
• You pour so much of yourself into a sermon – How does Pastor Craig do this every week and still engage in so many other aspects of the church?
• We have such talented people who help with the services – they make the words of a sermon come to life in worship, visuals and tangible expression.
• No sermon stands alone – it is just one piece of the Weekend Experience – so grateful for all the volunteers at GFC.  Ministry happens beyond the pulpit.
• I don’t like sitting alone in the green room.  I had to go greet people between services to keep my energy up.
• I am grateful for the first person (whoever you are) who left their seat to put a post-it note on the cross. You wonder if someone will take the step.
• I actually have a “habit” when I speak.  While waiting to go on stage, I will “dig my toes in the ground” like I am getting in a batter’s box.  It tells me I am ready.
• Kristin gives tremendous feedback and encouragement at the same time when I speak. Actually, all the senior staff does this pretty well.  Every sermon at GFC is discussed after the 5pm service.  We continue to improve.
• Grateful for the kind words.  It means a lot when someone comments on your message.
• Grateful for the opportunity to speak.  Glad to put my focus back on our staff, church, volunteers, campuses and other responsibilities.  My impact is best seen “when leading from the back of the room.”
• Final thought…how many weeks I preach my late night Christmas Eve services?

Pastor Ralph Johnson talked about having a “Come to Jesus Meeting” during his message at GFC this weekend. If you missed it, I encourage you to watch the podcast.  He basically encouraged the congregation to make time for God each day. Either in rest or relationship, a time with God will benefit you.

I whole heartedly agree and think it is a timely message for where the church is today.  Can you imagine what your family would look like if everyone spent a few minutes with God each day focused on Him?  What would your circle of friends talk about, consider “fun,” or pursue as interests if each person in the circle interacted daily with God?  What would GFC or any church pursue as a group to reach the lost and unchurched if it all started with a personal interaction with God and infused that into the numerous ministries reaching people?  What would our city look like if we took time to honor God for a few moments each day?

An interesting thought exercise when you begin to build the concentric circles of how spending time with God cycles outward.  Yet, it will always start with the first circle – you.  We would all love to see the synergy and enthusiasm of a group of vibrant, growing relationships with God.  Small or big, those groups will grow and challenge everyone to step it up.  It has to start with you.  I learned a long time ago, I cannot minister out of my reserves.  It must start with my own time with God and give out my overflow.  My reserves are limited.  But a fresh, overflowing relationship with God brings new life, insights and love to those people He wants me to lead and interact with on a daily basis.

Start today…have your own “Come to Jesus Meeting!”

 

 

I recently was posed the question, “What would your life look like without God.” Naturally, I scoffed and thought, “That is a silly question.” But I pondered it and came away with a smile.

How would I live my life today if there wasn’t God? First of all, I wouldn’t be a minister because there would be no need for church. Yet, I would probably do something that helped people move forward in their journey and towards something greater than themselves. I like growth. I like knowing that there is something in life that is bigger than me.

Even if there wasn’t a God, I would do something that would benefit people. It can definitely be messy at times – no doubt. Yet, money and possessions have never been high on my list of “accomplishments” so I would gravitate towards people. I find people fascinating and I love to hear about their life stories. Hollywood has nothing on some of the things I have heard over the years. Real people are never boring or sedate to me – they are what makes life real.

Even if there wasn’t a God, I would be nice to people, say “please and thank you,” be positive and smile. Honestly, I am not perfect at those things but I really find a joy in doing them. I find life is more enjoyable, happier and more fun when I am positive, optimistic and believe the best in people. Most of the time, they prove they are worth that investment of my time and energy. Most people will treat you well if you do the same to them. Of course, some will take advantage of those things. That’s on them, not me.

Even if there wasn’t a God, I would be generous. I have learned that being stingy and tight fisted with my gifts, talents and resources doesn’t help them grow. Instead, it puts them into a “stagnate” state of being. The more I hold tight to them, the less results and growth I see. It’s the law of sowing and reaping. The more you pour out, the more that comes back to you.

Even if there wasn’t a God, I would love…
                                                                      Actually, I couldn’t love without a God.

My personal nature is selfish, stingy, self serving and wants to sit in on the throne of my life and stay in control. All the things I really enjoy about my life are rooted in a relationship with God. He brings out all those things in me personally so that I can enjoy them and other people. The love that I know God has put in my heart allows me to pursue all of those things I wrote about above because I know that there is one who is higher than I and He leads me to higher places. My actions could be identical with or without Him but without the love He has given me, it would be so empty and void of the joy and fulfillment I experience it each day. Also, with a relationship with God, I have purpose. That purpose in relationship with God brings me peace, freedom, joy and fulfillment. A life without God would be a life that would do some great things…but never have a purpose with an eternal impact.

I don’t envision my life without God. In doing this little exercise, it reaffirmed that He is the center of my life. Not just spiritually, but everything I truly value, centers on Him. My life isn’t just better because of Him…no, I am who I am because of Him. And yes, I smile at that.

I am writing this blog while I am flying back from the west coast. I will get into Tampa around midnight. Get home around 1am…and I have a problem. A good one. I have my small group at 6:30am. I will not miss it. I will miss some sleep but I will not miss my time with my guys if I am in town.

I have been in small groups since I was a young person in youth group all the way to present day. If I was out of a group it was because it was on a hiatus or I had a short commitment that kept me out. I have been in couples, men’s, leadership, purpose base, special invitation and even an athlete’s group (I was the leader and the only triathlete in the group of professional athletes. Somebody had to lead…)

So why would I work so hard to get back to read Luke 15 – the parable of the lost sheep and the lost coin. (Stories I have taught and shared numerous times.) I will because these men make me laugh, think and grow.

Since no one really leads the group, we all facilitate the discussion. I get the honor of starting the group with saying the scripture and then asking, “What jumps out at you boys?” We pick on each other’s thoughts, insights and words. But with a smile that says, “I am for you and I got your back. Keep diving in.” It is a safe place to put “flesh” on scriptures that have challenged man for years.

They cause me to think. I can’t just say this is what I believe because I know someone will ask, “Why?” Or, “What do you have to back that up?” I have learned so many practical applications just listening to them dissect the Word of God. And it is good stuff. I once got a whole sermon about the lady who was infirmed for 18 years from the group discussion. They keep you on your toes!

Finally, I am growing in that group. We aren’t pounding through curriculum. We are taking small portions of scripture. If we don’t get to it because we have a life situation or a rabbit trail, that’s ok. We will get it the next week. Our goal is to get through the Bible before Jesus comes back. If we don’t make it, that’s ok too. We pray for each other and when I see one of them at church, I just smile.

Why write about it? You need a small group. A group that will cause you to laugh, think and grow around God. We are getting ready to do something at GFC that will be a tremendous step of growth for so many. We are doing a campaign that will invite every person at GFC (and those outside GFC), to get into a group centered on a six-week message series. It will be relevant to their daily life with practical application and questions. You can do it in one of three ways – (1) In a home or a location of your choice (2) On a GFC Campus or (3) With friends who don’t attend GFC.

Why the push? Because you need a small group – You need to laugh, think and grow.

 

Grace Family Church is just coming off of a “worship weekend.” I am very open about how much I enjoy and use worship in my daily devotions. It is truly one of the ways that I take myself off of my own “throne” and put God on it in my place.

 

At GFC, the diversity and various styles of music has been a journey for me. Raised in a conservative style of worship, I have grown to embrace all the different genres that will come from our stage. Rock, Black Gospel, Latin, Contemporary Christian and hymns are all found in our play lists. Our worship leaders work very hard at worship. Yet, they work even harder at leading from a heart of humility and authentic worship. It is a tough balance to lead and enter in at the same time.

 

I know. I sit on the front row and worship while knowing in 15 minutes I am going to be on stage to transition the group to the next part of the service. Two things that have become very personal to me is bowing down on one knee and lifting my hands up.

 

Let me explain. I can count on one hand how many times I bowed my knee in worship before coming to GFC over 20 years ago. I didn’t like it. I have bony knees – it was “painful.” When I came to GFC, P. Craig would bow his knee often in a service and I just had no desire to do it. One day, I felt the nudge to get on a knee during worship. I refused – “God knows my heart.” Later that day, I was driving and I felt that nudge, “I do know your heart. It was not surrendered during worship. Your actions didn’t match your heart.” The next time I felt that nudge, I bowed. I found a special moment when I bow my knee. I often feel a closeness to God when I am bowed down on a knee during worship. Won’t make that mistake again.

 

The other part is very small. I lift my hands – many people do. Sometimes I will point with both index finders during worship. Yes, I am saying “God you are number one.” It takes me back to seventh grade or so. I remember being a new Christian and the Pittsburgh Steelers just won the Super Bowl. Sports Illustrated had a picture of Terry Bradshaw facing the fans after the game with both hands raised saying “We’re Number One!” I remember thinking, “I want to always say God is Number One.” I decided that day that I would only make the “Number One” signal for God. (As best as I can remember, I have celebrated a lot of great wins and never signaled “I am number one.”)

 

I admit that is unique to me when it comes to worship. Totally geared toward my personality and me.   Isn’t that what worship is supposed to be? It’s a personal expression of your love for God either in a corporate or individual environment.

 

It’s time to take your worship to another level!

 

I took Jax to the zoo recently. What caused me to go with a twenty month old to the zoo all by myself – I was feeling pretty sure of myself. Taylor packed his backpack – snacks, diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes. It looked like rain, so I figured we could get in an hour and half visit. Away we went.

 

We hit it like champions – we saw all the monkeys (lots of variations), a tiger, a bear, and a family of ant eaters. Then, we hit the backside of the zoo and hit the jackpot – penguins, giraffes, elephants, rhinoceroses and even a 4 foot black snack that wasn’t in a cage but made me and Jax’s stroller get air off the ground.

 

We had time for the one thing – the infamous stop at the water fountain that kids played in and splashed about. (Hence, the change of clothes). It is a big circle of small bubbling fountains about 2-3 feet tall.   There are about twelve fountains that are surrounded by a bigger circle of benches. Jax tentatively approached the first fountain, then moved onto the next one. He didn’t get into the water but got closer and closer. While this was happening, the benches were starting to fill with a huge group of school kids who were just arriving. (Bright neon yellow shirts still work for a group outing.) Finally, Jax put his hand in the fountain. When he did this, five girls from the group started clapping. I looked up and smiled while Jax was totally oblivious to the noise. He moved on to the next fountain and got up to his elbow in the water. More kids started cheering and clapping. Now, he perked up. The next bubbler got him to stick his knee in and more applause. It took two more fountains but he finally stuck his whole leg in and covered the spout with his foot. Water splashed everywhere. The group erupted and Jax faced them with the biggest grin, waving at them. One boy cheered, “Way to go, Buddy!” and opened his arms for a hug. Jax ran over and gave him a hug. More cheers! The teacher smiled and said, “It’s time to go. Let’s go see some animals.” Jax waved good bye to all of his new friends and even ran after them when the last few left the circle. I picked him up with a big smile on my face and a story that I have told so many times since then.

 

Such a surreal moment – so pure and yet, so many applications. Kids just excited to see someone “succeed.” I have learned so many leadership lessons over the years. This will be one of my favorites!

 

 

Another blog about what I love about church services – Water Baptism.

 

I remember vividly the gutsy journey of my parents to not only accept Christ, but to also change their lives so they would raise their family in a Christian environment. They changed the trajectory of my siblings and me. All of us accepted Christ and so did all of our kids – all eighteen of them. Now we have our own grandkids…wow.

 

I was baptized with my parents, brothers and my sister in our friend’s pool. We all went into the water together and my parents were baptized first, then the kids. Even to this day, I still get a thrill to see entire families baptized together. It is such a great memory since we all live so far away from each other now. I have enjoyed the honor of baptizing my kids. Taylor and Abby in pastoring in Orlando in a pool with our small group watching. Casey was baptized in the Seventh Day Adventist Church we were renting when GFC was in the early years. (I still ask people to close their mouths because he came out with a full load and sprayed it all over my face – then kissed me on the nose.   Love that guy.)

 

Why do I love it? It is such a simple, yet profound way of publically declaring that Jesus Christ is Lord of your life. It’s in the Bible, Jesus did it, and we are told to do it. It doesn’t make a lot of natural sense – dip in the water. I love the challenge to Naaman by his servant in the Old Testament when seeking his healing. “If he (the prophet) had asked you to do something great, would you not done it?” I am like Naaman – if the Bible had asked us to do something hard, we would man up and do it. But this is all about surrendering.

 

Baptism seems so simple but it symbolizes so much. It symbolizes the death of the old, sinful nature. The birth of a new life and a new way of living. It demonstrates a simple picture of the transformation that God does in our hearts. It is a public declaration.   And in doing so, shares a message that words cannot express. It is so simple that any man, woman or child can do it. (Brilliant!)

 

Repent and be baptized…what a great start!